Do you struggle to decide between career vs kids? What's your story? What can you share with us?

For those of us blessed with a choice, the decision to work or be at home with the kids can be tricky!

I stopped practicing psychiatry (in terms of sitting face to face with patients) when my first child was born. I've loved being at home with all three of our kids, but still toss back and forth in my mind as to whether I made the right decision.

Is there ever a perfect decision?!!

I would love to hear your story. What have you done? How did you make the choice you did?

Blessings,

Ann

aka Dr. Ann : )

The Marriage Checklist

Tags: Christian, at, families, home, moms, stay, working

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Permalink Reply by Jess @bruteandbird on May 28, 2012 at 4:42pm

Seems like a common conflict. Recently had a conversation with myself about this very thing. It was super tough deciding to leave my job as a middle-school teacher, but I didn't think I could meet the needs of my students and the needs of my family all at once. I still think that's probably the case, but I miss working, and I miss having an autonomous area of my life. But I also feel very grateful for the chance to stay home, and for my husband's job pay and security, which allows us to live on one income. All the same, I'm looking forward to having more autonomous time. Thanks for sharing. :)

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Permalink Reply by Dr. Ann on May 30, 2012 at 10:05am

Good to hear your perspective Jess. I agree that it's a good idea to think of our work/life balance as a sequence of steps, instead of trying to nail it down all at once. That is a help to me!

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Permalink Reply by Carolyn on June 1, 2012 at 10:32pm

My decision to stay at home involved much deliberation. I'm a lawyer, and after my first son was born, I went back part-time, and then full-time. After my second son was born, we decided that I would stay home. We are at a place where this was an option for us financially and for me it seemed like the right thing. I weighed the time and effort I put into my legal training (not to mention the student loans!) with how much happier I am to be home with my kids, and the short time of their childhood. Ultimately, I am comfortable with the view that education is its own end. I do still struggle with the fact that I left a job I liked and did well, and wonder what path I will choose once the children are grown. However, I have confidence that things work out for the best. And I will always treasure this time at home.

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Permalink Reply by Dr. Ann on June 4, 2012 at 11:02pm

Carolyn,

Thanks for your thoughtful reply, and for sharing some of your journey with us! I like your perspective: "I am comfortable with the view that education is its own end." And I think that God works all things together, perhaps in ways we can't quite see from here!

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Permalink Reply by Dawn Lerman on June 16, 2012 at 1:58pm

I struggled with this during my childhood. Check out my New York Times article at http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/15/growing-up-with-a-fat-dad/

In my article I talk all about my upbringing and how it has shaped me to be who I am today. Every girl knows their relationship with their father helps make them who they are today. Feel free to share your story too!

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Permalink Reply by Melissa Beverly Hills Mom on June 18, 2012 at 8:07pm

I am neither a stay at home mom or a working mom I am an odd hybrid lol. I have a BA in Law and Justice and a second in Psychology I have never used either degree. I stay home with my kids BUT we are in entertainment and we own a number of companies, I am also a designer. So where I don't go to work I do spend time working but not in a traditional sense. My work for today may be in the form of actual designs of I may be spending 4 hours talking to the press... or I could just be chill and hang out shopping. I think no matter what you choose to do there is always someone to tell you its wrong, someone who isn't happy. As a mom, woman, wife and whathave you its important to find a good working balance for you.

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Permalink Reply by Dr. Ann on June 19, 2012 at 5:41pm

Hi Melissa - Don't we all feel like the odd hybrid in some way or another?! I appreciate your story. I think it reflects a lot of the changes in our culture generally. And I agree with your point that, ultimately, the way we choose to respond to our life/work situation is up to us! Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,

Ann

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Permalink Reply by Ginger Jen on June 20, 2012 at 10:52pm

Financially we could squeeze by if I was a SAHM but I really love my job. I love the challenges and rewards of working in medicine. I truly don't think being a SAHM is right for me. Some women are so great at it and it makes them happy. As much as I love my son, I think I would start to think of him as a job and that's not acceptable to me. I'm always home for dinner and he is in a daycare that he loves.

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Permalink Reply by Dr. Ann on June 21, 2012 at 12:58am

Great to know yourself solidly, Ginger. The fact that you thrive in your work sounds like a real blessing for you, your son, and your family!

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Permalink Reply by April Schroader on June 21, 2012 at 2:09am

I walked away from a career in the Tech Industry as a Software Tester when I became pregnant with my first child.

We went from making $60,000 a year + to, I think $15,000 that first year. We still live off of less than $25,000. I would love to make a little extra income for our home from my writing, but it isn't a priority - the children are, the house is, supporting my husband so he can do his job is.

It is about dying to self.

Now, I am not saying that is it easy. I have moments where I wish I had more than five hours a week to write, or I could go to the bathroom w/o a knock on my door, or I could sleep in, just a little.

But my career was never as fulfilling as being with my children. I delight in them. They will only be young for a few years of my life, and then they can help take care of me:-)

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Permalink Reply by Dr. Ann on June 21, 2012 at 9:27am

It's so true that "the days go on forever, but the years fly by so quickly." It's a bittersweetness that every one of us has felt, isn't it?! Thanks for letting us share in some of your story and your decision to be home for this season. And...*love* the point about them being there to help take care of you one day - absolutely!