Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Savannah on February 3, 2011 at 11:02am

Hi and welcome

 

I don't really know if I can be of much help..I was sort of in the same boat, I finished school before any of my friends, was married and had children first (I got married at 21 and now i'm 25 and due with my 3rd child in a couple of months). I did end up losing touch a fair bit with my best friend from high school and college..we still talk once in a while but not very frequently since we are in different stages in life it's hard to relate (though she just got engaged so maybe things will become more natural soon). I ended up finding a group of ladies closer to my age (though I'm still the youngest by a few years) who are in the same stage of life as I am and have developed friendships with them..our kids are almost all the same ages, so it makes playdates work well.

 

I wouldn't give up your current friends, but maybe just be open to developing new friendships as well..meet your old friends for coffee or have them over for a movie after the baby is in bed, but you can have mom-talks and playdates with new mom-friends..sorry to hear you're having a rough time, it's hard i know...check around for playgroups and mommy-meetings at local community centers, churches, or libraries

Permalink Reply by Meghan on February 3, 2011 at 2:39pm

Thanks, Savannah! I'm definitely open to new friendships - it would be nice to have a chance to hang out with other Moms, even if they're not my age. At the moment, I'm having a hard time finding a playgroup/mommy-meetup in my area. Most of them are tailoed to SAHM (I'm a working Mom), so all the get-togethers are during the day. But I'm glad I found online forums and sites that offer support :)

 

Thanks for your advice!

Permalink Reply by Meghan on May 6, 2011 at 2:46pm

Haha, Roxanne, that's okay! That means it was really good advice when more than one Mommy is passing that info along :)

 

To be honest, I'm a little scared to have that talk with my friends. They're great ladies, don't get me wrong, but I'm so unsure of how they will react that I've chickened out of talking with them about it. But at least I've learned to accept that we're all in different places in our lives and that's totally okay.

I'm working on finding more friends in similar points in their lives and hopefully once I have that support network established, I won't feel so disconnected from a social life :)

 

Thanks again for your advice!

Permalink Reply by Rachel Joy on May 6, 2011 at 3:16pm

Life is like a box of chocolates....some chocolates are eaten, some are picked at, and others melt. I was married at 17, had my first baby at 18. 7 years and 3 babies later, I'm still the only one of my friends that is married, with children, and a career. When I was still 18 I couldn't relate to my friends either, though we still kept in touch, but I developed new relationships with moms in their 20's and 30's. It's all about moving forward with your new life...and as harsh as it may seem sometimes moving forward means leaving others behind. But your GAIN DEFINITELY outweighs the losses....

 

Permalink Reply by Meghan on May 6, 2011 at 3:34pm

That's a great way to look at it, Rachel! I've actually had a lot of luck relating to Moms who are older than I am..even though there is an age gap, our experiences are more similar than friends of mine who are my age!