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** Nobody ever forewarns you about all the skid marks of motherhood (and I do mean that LITERALLY).
** My kids have more energy than Richard Simmons on cocaine.
** Screaming is evidently my son's new favorite hobby.
** I sure know how to waste a crapload of time.
** Sleeping with the window open totally…Continue
** School was, like, the greatest invention ever.
** Once again, homework can seriously suck it.
** I don't do math without my smashed grapes.
** Camping is so much more enjoyable when I don't have to be a part of it.
** My daughter's room smells like a pig took a shit in a sauna.
** The Fanta…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on September 2, 2011 at 10:21am — No Comments
My son comes home from school every day and gives me the official count on how many days of first grade he has left. I ooh and aah with him and tell him how excited I am. I then play the part of good mommy (because sometimes it really is nothing more than an act) and remind him that he will…Continue
Added by Jennifer Probst on May 31, 2011 at 9:53am — No Comments
Added by Miranda Moms Bookshelf & More on April 15, 2011 at 2:11am — No Comments
Bath time at my house continues to be two steps shy of a birthday party at the loony bin. There's screaming, there's singing, there's dancing, and there's general madness all around. I often don't know whether to laugh or to cry, so I typically just grab the wine bottle and drink my way through it. I'm convinced that combined with homework time, it's the very reason why I have…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on February 23, 2011 at 7:53pm — No Comments
When I was young it was the telephone, time inside, or the dreaded television punishment that had us shaking in our boots. Three measly things our parents had to choose from to use as fear tactics to get us to behave. I can still hear my mom’s voice saying things like “That room is a mess! No telephone for a week!” This punishment never affected me too much. After all, our house was…Continue
Added by Logan Beth Luce on February 5, 2011 at 3:21pm — No Comments
Added by Logan Beth Luce on January 31, 2011 at 9:32pm — No Comments
** Boot camp and sinus pressure go together about as well as a yoga class and Mel Gibson.
** The entire household turns into assholes when my husband goes out of…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on January 7, 2011 at 1:07pm — No Comments
Added by Sharlene Battaglia on January 5, 2011 at 2:15pm — No Comments
** The Tooth Fairy is trapped in my daughter's piggy bank (allegedly).
** Thanksgiving's NEXT WEEK -- holy shit!
** Approximately 85% of the lightbulbs in our house are currently out.
** I don't like being a pioneer.
** Life would be so much easier without…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on November 18, 2010 at 10:37am — No Comments
Many of you have probably heard of or even read the Flat Stanley book series for children. It's about a boy who's flattened one night by a bulletin board hanging over his bed. He learns that he can suddenly fit into an envelope and even mail himself all over the world. The funny little storyline has proven to be a great way…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on October 14, 2010 at 8:00am — No Comments
Added by Laurie Wallin on September 30, 2010 at 3:00am — No Comments
** We use a lot of damn toilet paper in this house.
** A threat is more successful if you actually follow through with it.
** My seven year olds have more friggin' homework than grad students.
** If you don't like driving in the rain, it's probably best not to drive in the damn rain.
The biggest thing I’ve learned as a parent, is the biggest thing I struggle with the most as a parent. Because it demands that I engage in a constant inner struggle with the very fabric of my being. Here’s the lesson…BEFORE I give in to my immediate reactions, stop & ask myself: are MY opinions/actions/decisions what’s best for THEM?? It’s usually not…thus the struggle. Having to back down, bite my tongue, stay out of it, go with the flow, often requires a massive dose of happy pills…Continue
Added by Tracy Warner on September 20, 2010 at 2:52pm — No Comments
Why do I feel like homework time is nothing but an exercise in patience for the PARENTS??!! I don't know about you, but I despise this time of the day even more than when my alarm clock goes off in the morning. (And I LOATHE the crack of dawn, y'all!) It seems that helping my kids with their homework never ever ends with anyone feeling any sense…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on September 16, 2010 at 10:00am — No Comments
Added by Jennifer Perez on June 29, 2010 at 12:21pm — No Comments
So, I have no idea if this is in “poor form” or not, & frankly I don’t much care…at least I’m being honest about it! Yep, I’m “recycling” a post! I am totally & completely burnt out dudes, & what time I did spend on the site this weekend, was spent “revamping” it a little bit, & catching up on some housekeeping chores…including swapping out …Continue
Added by Tracy Warner on June 21, 2010 at 12:17am — No Comments