** Nobody ever forewarns you about all the skid marks of motherhood (and I do mean that LITERALLY).

 

** My kids have more energy than Richard Simmons on cocaine.

 

** Screaming is evidently my son's new favorite hobby.

 

** I sure know how to waste a crapload of time.

 

** Sleeping with the window open totally…

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** School was, like, the greatest invention ever.

 

** Once again, homework can seriously suck it.

 

** I don't do math without my smashed grapes.

 

** Camping is so much more enjoyable when I don't have to be a part of it.

 

** My daughter's room smells like a pig took a shit in a sauna.

 

** The Fanta…

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Please help me welcome the fabulous Paige Morgan from the popular mommy blog, Slightly Off Balance. We are honored she joined us today for Guest Blogging Tuesday at 4BadMommies. Enjoy!

 

My son comes home from school every day and gives me the official count on how many days of first grade he has left.  I ooh and aah with him and tell him how excited I am.  I then play the part of good mommy (because sometimes it really is nothing more than an act) and remind him that he will…

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** "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" is one crazy train that I can't help but wanna ride.



** Supervising homework time without wine is like having oral surgery without Novocaine.



** I now know how to spell "Novocaine".



** Someone needs to seriously start manufacturing Midol for second graders.



** Green is not really the color… Continue

Hi! I know, it's been awhile, but there hasn't been a lot of excitement around the Sherman house lately. This week has crawled by so slowly!......click here to continue reading, and to see the posted videos and pictures!

Bath time at my house continues to be two steps shy of a birthday party at the loony bin. There's screaming, there's singing, there's dancing, and there's general madness all around. I often don't know whether to laugh or to cry, so I typically just grab the wine bottle and drink my way through it. I'm convinced that combined with homework time, it's the very reason why I have…

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Who Am I Punishing?

When I was young it was the telephone, time inside, or the dreaded television punishment that had us shaking in our boots. Three measly things our parents had to choose from to use as fear tactics to get us to behave. I can still hear my mom’s voice saying things like “That room is a mess! No telephone for a week!” This punishment never affected me too much. After all, our house was…

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Regrets...I've had a few....All right...I mean come on, let's be real.  I am forty one.  There are more than just a FEW regrets.  Oh...now...stop tsk tsking...We all have those moments that we wish we could do over in a different way.  Some are bigger than others.  Some aren't worth the thought.  Some are always with us and will be until we are old and gray.  My list is lengthy.  Some of the ruefulness is what you'd expect...the angst that comes from being young...and stupid.  You know what I… Continue

** A dog bite on your boob is not a good way to kick off the day.

 

** Boot camp and sinus pressure go together about as well as a yoga class and Mel Gibson.

 

** The entire household turns into assholes when my husband goes out of…

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When I was a kid there was no structure when it came to homework. no one to help if you had a question, and so most of the time I was trying to get Vocab done at lunch before running into the class. if I got part of it done I was happy. I didn't care about grades, because I honestly didn't know to care about them. NO ONE in my family ever graduated form high-school, much less went off to college..it was the norm. Do just enough to pass and after a few years your done.





THIS IS… Continue

** The Tooth Fairy is trapped in my daughter's piggy bank (allegedly).

** Thanksgiving's NEXT WEEK -- holy shit!

** Approximately 85% of the lightbulbs in our house are currently out.

** I don't like being a pioneer.

** Life would be so much easier without…

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Many of you have probably heard of or even read the Flat Stanley book series for children. It's about a boy who's flattened one night by a bulletin board hanging over his bed. He learns that he can suddenly fit into an envelope and even mail himself all over the world. The funny little storyline has proven to be a great way…

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You know those moments in life when things get so frustrating - almost to absurdity - that you just have to make a change? You try to ignore it. To work around it. To gracefully weasel out of it. But no such luck! It’s like the stinky crud that sometimes colonizes our pantries. Not sure where it came from, but can’t move on with life until it’s dealt with!



I'm in the middle of one of these moments right now with my oldest daughter. For the past 3 years, homework has been… Continue

** We use a lot of damn toilet paper in this house.

** A threat is more successful if you actually follow through with it.

** My seven year olds have more friggin' homework than grad students.

** If you don't like driving in the rain, it's probably best not to drive in the damn rain.

**…

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The biggest thing I’ve learned as a parent, is the biggest thing I struggle with the most as a parent. Because it demands that I engage in a constant inner struggle with the very fabric of my being. Here’s the lesson…BEFORE I give in to my immediate reactions, stop & ask myself: are MY opinions/actions/decisions what’s best for THEM?? It’s usually not…thus the struggle. Having to back down, bite my tongue, stay out of it, go with the flow, often requires a massive dose of happy pills…

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Why do I feel like homework time is nothing but an exercise in patience for the PARENTS??!! I don't know about you, but I despise this time of the day even more than when my alarm clock goes off in the morning. (And I LOATHE the crack of dawn, y'all!) It seems that helping my kids with their homework never ever ends with anyone feeling any sense…

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So, I have no idea if this is in “poor form” or not, & frankly I don’t much care…at least I’m being honest about it! Yep, I’m “recycling” a post! I am totally & completely burnt out dudes, & what time I did spend on the site this weekend, was spent “revamping” it a little bit, & catching up on some housekeeping chores…including swapping out …

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