Once again, I've compiled a list of things that have enlightened me lately.  Included this week is the realization that "Mother of the Year" is totally overrated anyway.  Click over to my…

After a little bit of a spring break hiatus, my blog finally has a new post up!  It's my usual Friday list of wacky things I've learned recently, including the realization that the shit purposely waits to hit the…

Here's my traditional Friday list of crazy things I've learned.  Included this time is the realization that nobody's a winner when my husband's in charge of bedtime. Click over to my blog for the rest of the list:…

Here I present you with another list of fascinating things I've learned throughout the past week.  Included this time is the realization that December would be an excellent month to win the lottery.  Or to rob a bank.  Click over to my blog for…

Here is yet another list of whacky things I've learned lately.  Included this time is the realization that the world would be a happier place if everyone ate Thanksgiving dinner in their pajamas.  Click over to my blog for the full list:…

I don't know how it is at your house, but in mine my husband is an even bigger baby than my kids when he's sick.  Click over to my blog to see what I'm talking about:  "Sick Husband =…

Here is just one of the many examples of how my husband gets his jollies from embarrassing the crap out of me when we're in the car.  Click over to my blog to see what he did THIS time:

"…

In keeping with my Friday tradition, I've put together yet another list of things I've figured out over the past several days.  Included is the realization that I'm the only one around here that seems to know that the floor is not a trash can.  Click over to my blog to read the…

Here is yet another list of amazing things I've learned over the past several days.  Included is the good news that today is the official start of summer vacation for my kids, which means the bad news is that today is the official start of summer vacation for…

Want further proof that weird, stupid things are attracted to me like a moth to a flame?  Our friggin' bed collapsed the other night -- and I SWEAR it wasn't because of what you might think.  Click here to get the full story:  "…

Thanks to my husband and his stupid Edward Scissorhands, my poor son is now bald.  And you can bet your booty that there will be no more home haircuts ever again.  Click here to read the full story:…

Check out my list of this last week's finer discoveries like the realization that money disappears faster from my wallet than my husband does from cleaning duties. Hop on over to my blog for the full list:…

** My son likes to make his penis talk.  (Don't ask.)

** The entire household turns into assholes when my husband goes out of town.

** My kids wait to take a dump until it's time to walk out the door.

** This ass isn't gonna run itself off.

** You can never ever hug your kids too much.

** When life hands you…

The other day I sent out a tweet that could quite possibly be misconstrued as naughty by nature -- I said something to the effect of "My husband's Jolly Juice is a-flowing".  Now many of you may have thought that this was some sort of sexual reference (cause let's be honest, usually it is), but surprisingly, this time, it was actually a very innocent comment referring to a new cocktail recipe that I found recently and somehow persuaded my husband to whip up for our friends…

Unlike the back-assward days of the 1950s, I, for one, do not always believe that Father knows best.  However, as much as it might pain me, I've gotta give credit where credit is due.  And sometimes, every once in a blue moon, my husband actually comes up with a semi-brilliant parenting strategy.

Like many households, getting our kids ready for bed at night…

I'm sure most of us have given our cell phones to our kids at some point or another to entertain them (i.e. shut them the hell up) while we run errands, right?  And really, the worst that can happen is that we end up with a gazillion kids' game apps or an unexpected alarm going off at 3 AM (I speak from experience, y'all).  However, who woulda thunk that the…

** Kids pick the most awesomely inopportune times to take a dump.

** Summer = an impromptu game of kick-the-can on a random Monday night.

** Goatdog is about to become a street dog.

** I wouldn't do well in that Little House on the Prairie.

** If Tuesday and Wednesday had a Facebook page, I would NOT…

** Naked is evidently the way to go this summer.

** As much as I love my husband, I really don't think I'd tackle someone trying to throw a pie in his face.

** Chopsticks actually help get my kids to eat their veggies.

** My son thinks I'm a car and driver expert.

** I am NOT a car and driver…

** WARNING:  If you are my mom or my dad or any other sensitive family member of mine, you might wanna stop reading this right now because it is, in fact, about SEX.

You know how they say men are from Mars and women are from Venus?  Well, sometimes I wonder if we're even in the same solar system at all.  We just could not be wired…

While I was away a couple of weekends ago, my husband decided he was going to conduct "Project Hoarder" with my daughter, bless his naive little soul.  Yes, you see, the child's room had slowly turned into the world's biggest indoor landfill of shit.  And apparently, my husband was sick to death of hearing me constantly bitch about it, so he took the bull by the horns and initiated the…