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After taking care of a sick kid all week, cabin fever has taken over me, but I still managed to put together my weekly list of kooky things I've learned. Included this time is that whoever said 40 was the new 30 was either full of shit or drunk. Click over to my blog for the…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on January 11, 2013 at 3:28pm — No Comments
I've once again made a list of some of the kooky things I've learned throughout the past several days. Included this week is the realization that adult-sized bodies do NOT fit in elementary school-sized desks. Click over to my blog to read the full list: "…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on September 14, 2012 at 2:31pm — No Comments
Another week has passed me by, but I did manage to make another list of some of the crazy knowledge that I've gained along the way. Included is the realization that parenting without humor is like driving a car without a steering wheel. Click over to my blog to read the whole list:…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on August 24, 2012 at 1:30pm — No Comments
Another stimulating list of "Things I've Learned This Week" awaits you over on my blog. Included is the realization that I can save money at the liquor store by just chugging the hand sanitizer in my purse. Who knew??!! Click here for more: …Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on April 27, 2012 at 2:53pm — No Comments
Check out my list of this last week's finer discoveries like the realization that money disappears faster from my wallet than my husband does from cleaning duties. Hop on over to my blog for the full list:…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on February 24, 2012 at 7:30pm — No Comments
** My son likes to make his penis talk. (Don't ask.)
** The entire household turns into assholes when my husband goes out of town.
** My kids wait to take a dump until it's time to walk out the door.
** This ass isn't gonna run itself off.
** You can never ever hug your kids too much.
** When life hands you…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on December 31, 2011 at 1:00pm — No Comments
I don't know about you, but sometimes, I can't help but laugh my buns off when my kids are throwing an all-out fit. They just look so incredibly ridiculous to me as they're wailing and screaming and flailing themselves about the floor. In fact, I've even videotaped one of my daughter's tantrums to show her just what an asshole looks like in action. Of course, she doesn't…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on September 29, 2011 at 10:02am — No Comments
** Guinea pigs poop more than any other creature on this planet. For real, y'all.
** It's all fun and games till your kid locks you out of the house.
** I'm the queen of accidentally mooning strangers on the street.
** Losing track of time while shopping in Target is a given.
** So is spending more than…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on July 1, 2011 at 10:23am — No Comments
** Motherhood = taking your first shower of the day at midnight (IF you're lucky....)
** Tornado warnings surprisingly do not freak out my kids.
** Although it's been hazy, there's definitely been nothing lazy about summer so far.
** No good can come from a group of second graders with a hose.
Added by nuckingfutsmama on June 24, 2011 at 9:30am — No Comments
** Men with the last name of Weiner really do like to take pictures of their junk.
** It's time to do laundry when you're trying to talk your second grader into going commando.
** My son evidently wrote a story in school about a giant turd that was terrorizing a town. I'm so proud.
** I expect to hear the Jaws theme song any…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on June 10, 2011 at 8:41am — No Comments
** Whoever invented "New Math" is an asshole.
** Parents should get a big friggin' cut of their kid's lemonade stand profits. Just sayin'.
** It's Friday the 13th, so I should probably watch out for tall, creepy men wearing hockey masks in the woods.
** My son's backpack weighs 400 pounds thanks to the ginormous rock…Continue
** Call me a scrooge, but I wouldn't even get up at 4 AM for my own friggin' wedding!!!
** A Chatty Cathy at a nail salon is like a yodeler at a library.
** Easter grass will still be lingering in corners and under furniture come Christmas time.
** Peace and quiet are about as likely to show up in my house as a…Continue
** Showers are so overrated.
** I really need to work on my Running Man.
** Sometimes a picture's not worth a thousand words, but rather, only 140 characters.
** Champagne and I do NOT go…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on February 11, 2011 at 11:00am — No Comments
** This household is a little too obsessed with man parts.
** Starbucks is calling their new XXL size a "Trenta" cause "big ass cup" would've been too easy.
** The American Girl store has completely brainwashed my daughter.
Added by nuckingfutsmama on January 21, 2011 at 11:43am — No Comments
Like it or not, there are certain indicators that announce to the world that you, my friend, are a parent. Some of them are subtle, and some of them are lit up like Times freaking Square. And rather than deny some of the more embarrassing aspects of raising a shorty (ie: an unexpected nipple slip in the checkout line at the grocery store), it's better to just embrace them…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on September 30, 2010 at 11:00am — No Comments