Here's another one of my lists of things I've discovered throughout the past week.  Included is the realization that it's all fun and games till you find the dog eating a blond wig in the family room.  Click over to my blog to read the full list: …

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I've compiled another one of my lists of things I've discovered lately.  And this week's list includes the sad realization that sitting next to the fittest person at the pool is like driving a clunker next to a Ferrari.  Click over to my blog to read…

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Do you ever wanna just walk away from your kids in public and act like you don't know who the hell they are?  No?  Surely that's not just me.  Call me Mommy Dearest if you will, but when my kids have a brain fart and act like complete Neanderthals who've never heard of manners, I sometimes think it would be easier to point and stare and pretend like I'm disgusted by the horrible excuse…

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** We actually made it to the beginning of the school year without my kids stabbing each other!!

 

** New backpacks make everything more exciting.

 

** My son can evidently make his leg fart.  (I'm so proud.)

 

** I can't even watch the previews for scary movies anymore.

 

** I'm raising the king and queen of…

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** School doesn't start for 10 more weeks (but who's counting?).

 

** It's gonna be a LONG summer.

 

** If it happened on Scooby Doo, then it must be true.

 

** I've visited pretty much every public restroom from here to Timbuktu.

 

** Hugh Hefner's fiancee must've realized that she'd have to have sex with an old…

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I never ever get surprise packages in the mail. In fact, the only time I ever receive a box on my front porch is when I order it myself or when my kids drag their crap out there to play some kind of crazy made-up game of theirs. So when I came home to find an unexpected parcel waiting for me a couple of weeks ago, well, I nearly peed my pants, y'all.







Much to my surprise,… Continue

On a hot, steamy day, what better way is there to cool off than by splashing around in a big hole of water? Naturally, most people would assume then that the community pool would be cram-packed with crazy

screaming kids on a sultry summer afternoon — most people, that is,

except the grumpy old bee-atch who barreled her way into our town pool

yesterday.…

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