Here's yet another one of my Friday list of crazy things I've discovered lately.  Included this time is the realization that Mother's Day should really be Mother's Weekend.  Click over to my blog for the full list:…

I give you yet another Friday list of the goofy things I've discovered this week.  Included this time is the realization that my ass is eternally grateful for the genius who invented seat heaters.  Click over to my blog for the full list:…

After taking care of a sick kid all week, cabin fever has taken over me, but I still managed to put together my weekly list of kooky things I've learned.  Included this time is that whoever said 40 was the new 30 was either full of shit or drunk.  Click over to my blog for the…

Another week has passed me by, but I did manage to make another list of some of the crazy knowledge that I've gained along the way.  Included is the realization that parenting without humor is like driving a car without a steering wheel.  Click over to my blog to read the whole list:…

So I've put together yet another list of weird, wild, and wacky things I've discovered throughout the past several days.  Included is the realization that my brain has a serious case of the farts lately.  Click over to my blog to see the whole list:  "…

Wouldn't you know that the one day I leave my husband in charge of getting the kids off to camp, both kids forget their lunches and the dog leaves me a ginormous mess all over the downstairs.  Click over to my blog to read the story:  "…

I must say that I am forever grateful for the genius who came up with the idea of summer camp.  Cause my kids would no doubt kill each other if they weren't separated each and every day.  Click over to my blog to see what I mean:  "…

So I posted an uncharacteristically sappy blog entry today about the first day of Sports Camp for my son.  It brought about that old familiar "pit" at the bottom of my parental stomach -- ugh.  Click over to my blog to see what I mean:…

Here's another compiled list of things I've discovered over the past several days.  Included is how amazing it is that a closed bathroom door means nothing to my kids until they're the ones behind it.  Click over to my blog to read the whole list:…

Here is yet another list of amazing things I've learned over the past several days.  Included is the good news that today is the official start of summer vacation for my kids, which means the bad news is that today is the official start of summer vacation for…

It's time for another list of "Things I've Learned This Week"!!!  This time it includes the realization that nobody around here seems to realize that Nice Mama checks out at 8:00 PM so that Mean Mama can check in.  Click over to my blog to read the rest of the…

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**A healthy household makes for a happy mama.

** My kids are HUGE fans of "skip the shower" nights.

** If my purse contained as much money as it does crap, I would be a very rich lady.

** Asparagus = awesome.  Asparagus pee = not so…

** Kids pick the most awesomely inopportune times to take a dump.

** Summer = an impromptu game of kick-the-can on a random Monday night.

** Goatdog is about to become a street dog.

** I wouldn't do well in that Little House on the Prairie.

** If Tuesday and Wednesday had a Facebook page, I would NOT…

** Naked is evidently the way to go this summer.

** As much as I love my husband, I really don't think I'd tackle someone trying to throw a pie in his face.

** Chopsticks actually help get my kids to eat their veggies.

** My son thinks I'm a car and driver expert.

** I am NOT a car and driver…

I hate to admit it, but my husband was actually right.  (Did pigs just fly?)  He tried to warn me, but I didn't listen to him.  I thought that being the MOM, I knew what was what.  I was convinced that I was being an awesome mama by letting my kids participate in all the summer activities they wanted.  (Ok, you can stop pointing and laughing at me,…

So if you're anything like me, you're trying your damnedest to find something for your kids to do so that they don't kill each other over summer vacation.  And that "something" would preferably be an activity that keeps 'em occupied for a long stretch of time, perhaps even long enough for Mama to have a well-deserved glass of wine and maybe even *gasp* take a…

** School doesn't start for 10 more weeks (but who's counting?).

** It's gonna be a LONG summer.

** If it happened on Scooby Doo, then it must be true.

** I've visited pretty much every public restroom from here to Timbuktu.

** Hugh Hefner's fiancee must've realized that she'd have to have sex with an old…

** Men with the last name of Weiner really do like to take pictures of their junk.

** It's time to do laundry when you're trying to talk your second grader into going commando.

** My son evidently wrote a story in school about a giant turd that was terrorizing a town.  I'm so proud.

** I expect to hear the Jaws theme song any…

Dear Liquor Store,

Perhaps you may have heard some rumblings about the impending summer vacation that's about to pounce on the town here any day now. Yes, kids will soon be out terrorizing the streets and pimping lemonade hardcore on every effing corner. They will be changing their clothes 357 times a day, thereby creating even more ginormous piles of…

** My son likes to pee in the garage.

** Four-day weekends confuse the hell out of me.

** Our local library is so noisy that it's a disco ball and a few cocktail waitresses short of becoming a nightclub.

** Potting soil on your boobs may sound sexy, but it's really really not.

** The world would be a much…