** If a day ever went by where a kid HADN'T peed on a toilet seat here, I'd swear I was in the wrong house.

** I seriously could not be more unorganized.

** Everybody needs a mental health day.  (Still waiting impatiently to cash in on mine....)

** Homework supervision is totally interfering with my tweeting and…

You know you're up a shit creek when your kid comes out of a public bathroom after ten LONG minutes and says, "Uh, can you come in here and help me, Mama?"  You might as well just take a deep breath, roll up your sleeves, and prepare for the worst.  I speak from experience because I dealt with this very same scenario over the weekend when I secured my status as the most…

** My world is just a series of pee splatters and poo.

** It's a true challenge not to laugh when telling your eight year old how inappropriate it is to yell "cocks".

** Throwing food can be liberatingly fun.

** Pretending to be stupid so you can cut in line is sooooooo not cool.

** Some sick a-hole had…

To me, a good friend is someone who isn't afraid to call you out when you look like a complete idiot.  I don't know about you, but I'd much rather be told that I've got a huge chunk of spinach in my teeth before I walk around like a jackass all day completely oblivious to all the people pointing and laughing at me.  Unfortunately, though, not everybody's got a buddy who's…

I'm gonna go out on a limb here & say that most of us are not big fans of public restrooms.  There's the whole ick factor of a peed- upon seat or a toilet bowl full of skid marks, and there's also the embarrassment that goes along with doing your business in the presence of others.  Sometimes you get the little old lady playing a symphony of…

Sometimes kids can seriously do the sweetest little things. They can draw you a picture, write you a note, or pick you a flower (even if it IS only a dandelion). It's the little things like these that make you feel like the blood, sweat and tears of parenting are actually appreciated if only just for a moment. MY kid though? Yeah, MY kid brought…

Recently, my husband and I decided to take a break from our regular cleaning ladies and do it ourselves in order to save some money. (Well, ok, let's be honest -- MY HUSBAND decided, not me. I'm not that nucking futs!) Anyway, with my daughter's upcoming first round of orthodontial work, it was one simple way we could cut our monthly costs a bit. And…