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** My son likes to make his penis talk. (Don't ask.)
** The entire household turns into assholes when my husband goes out of town.
** My kids wait to take a dump until it's time to walk out the door.
** This ass isn't gonna run itself off.
** You can never ever hug your kids too much.
** When life hands you…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on December 31, 2011 at 1:00pm — No Comments
If you've ever wondered where all the germs go to party, I'm pretty sure I figured out their favorite stomping ground. Just visit any given water park, and you'll surely find a whole gaggle of germ dudes and germ dudettes gettin' their freak on. How do I know this? Cause my family just spent this past weekend at one, and I've got the mental scars (and the super sexy fever blister)…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on July 20, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments
** Cruise control scares the shit out of me.
** When you travel with kids, it's a trip. When you travel without them, it's a vacation.
** 99.9% of the water at water parks is a combination of urine and ick. Probably.
** Trying to get your kids to sleep at a water park is like trying to get a nun to pole…Continue
Added by nuckingfutsmama on July 15, 2011 at 8:29am — No Comments