I present to you yet another one of my lists of recent wacky discoveries I've made.  Included this time is the realization that the floor is apparently a better coat rack than the coat rack.  Click over to my blog for the…

Here's yet another wacky list of things I've learned lately, and lord knows we all need a little something to laugh about.  Included this time is the realization that turning 29 again wasn't so bad after…

Once again, here is yet another one of my wacky lists of weird things I've discovered lately.  Included this time is the realization that elementary school open houses are the reason that Advil and wine exist.  Click over to my blog for the whole list:…

Here's another list of crazy things I've come to realize over the past several days.  And included this time is the discovery that Santa needs to be A LOT more organized next year.  Click over to my blog to read the whole list:  …

Check out the story that explains why Goatdog's legs may now be permanently stained with red wine.  Click over to my blog to read all about it:  "Just Keep Blotting,…

It's been a long week of ridiculousness, but I did manage to learn a few things.  One of those things includes the realization that my kids purposely slow down to a turtle-like pace whenever I tell them to hurry up.  Click over to my blog to read the entire list of discoveries:…

Here we go with another list of the wacky things I've discovered throughout the past few days.  Included is the realization that I'd rather have a conversation with a wall than with a "one upper".  Click over to my blog to read the full list:  "…

Once again, here's a list I compiled of some of the things I've learned throughout the past week.  Included is the discovery that giving my kids a ten dollar bill for the concession stand is like giving a teenager a case of beer.  Click over to my blog to read the full list:…

Here is yet another list of amazing things I've learned over the past several days.  Included is the good news that today is the official start of summer vacation for my kids, which means the bad news is that today is the official start of summer vacation for…

Here's yet another list of some of the things I've come to realize over the past several days, which includes the discovery that every time I think it's gonna be a "No Wine Night", I remember that I have children. Click over to my blog to see the full list: …

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Once again, I've compiled a list of the enlightening discoveries I've made over the past several days. Included is the realization that a politician would admit that…

** My son likes to make his penis talk.  (Don't ask.)

** The entire household turns into assholes when my husband goes out of town.

** My kids wait to take a dump until it's time to walk out the door.

** This ass isn't gonna run itself off.

** You can never ever hug your kids too much.

** When life hands you…

Is there a playdate addiction group somewhere?  If so, then I'm totally sending these kids of mine.  I'm tellin' you, these two short people are beyond obsessed with playdates all day, every day.  Now some days, that can be a good thing (like when the playdate's at someone else's house, for example), but there are other days when I wanna kick the inventor of the playdate right…

I don't know about you, but sometimes, I can't help but laugh my buns off when my kids are throwing an all-out fit.  They just look so incredibly ridiculous to me as they're wailing and screaming and flailing themselves about the floor.  In fact, I've even videotaped one of my daughter's tantrums to show her just what an asshole looks like in action.  Of course, she doesn't…

** Someone should come up with a Beano for brain farts.

** Motherhood is no place for migraines.

** Our water bill's gonna be $10,000 this month, thanks to my son's obsession with the hose.

** Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, is louder than the volume of a carpool of short people.

** Digging for your keys…

** Cruise control scares the shit out of me.

** When you travel with kids, it's a trip.  When you travel without them, it's a vacation.

** 99.9% of the water at water parks is a combination of urine and ick.  Probably.

** Trying to get your kids to sleep at a water park is like trying to get a nun to pole…

** I can't remember what it feels like to think straight.

** It's insane how many errands you can accomplish when your kids aren't with you.

** Trying not to drink wine through the week is like trying to fight a bear with a feather duster.

** Friends don't let friends walk around with camel toe.

** Osama Bin…