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TwoKidsandaFish's Blog (29)

Part Two: My date with “The Spaniard”

So there we were making out like a couple of teenagers in front of his place. And it felt goooooood!

I had long forgotten what this felt like, to be completely aware of every sensation in your body is absolutely breathtaking, especially when you’re making out with a hot Spaniard. Your heart is racing, your entire body is tingling…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on April 9, 2012 at 2:54am — No Comments

Part One: My date with “The Spaniard”

I have no problem in admitting I was nervous. I had butterflies. My hands shook as I texted my mom and a couple of friends of my soon-to-be location. I was on my way to a coffee date, my very first date of any kind since I was 15.

There I…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on April 9, 2012 at 2:51am — No Comments

Booty Calls and Other Advice from Mom

My mom is a dirty, old lady. It’s true, she really is. I thought I’d tell you up front so the following will make more sense.

You see, ever since I dipped my toe into the dating pool, my mom has been full of advice. For starters, she’d prefer I dive into the pool instead of my rather cautious approach. In her eyes, I’m acting like I’ve never seen water.

On any given day, her comments can…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on April 9, 2012 at 2:49am — No Comments

My first dating blog... And I'm not even dating

Trying to write a blog about dating is kind of hard when you haven’t actually been on a date. So I took the next logical step to learn more about dating in the 21^st Century. I turned to Al Gore’s brilliant invention, the Internet, now known as Google.

Google “dating advice” and you’ll net 13.8 million results. Apparently…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on April 9, 2012 at 2:47am — No Comments

Part Three: Refusing to settle

And so she left. My first born, my baby girl was gone. New address: Fiancé’s house.

As predicted, I headed straight for her room. I sat on her bed, surrounded by the emptiness of the space, and cried.

Minutes earlier she had confessed to me that she didn’t…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on April 9, 2012 at 2:42am — No Comments

Part Two: "I don't love him"

“I think I’m making the biggest mistake of my life.”

She said this as most of her belongings were already en route to her new residence: her fiance’s house.

She…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on November 19, 2011 at 3:12am — No Comments

Part One: Moving Day

The truck had just backed out of the driveway. It was pulling a trailer which was filled with most of my daughter’s belongings.

It was Monday morning and she was moving out of my house, my nest, to live with her fiancé.…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on November 18, 2011 at 2:30am — No Comments

An encounter with friends from my past… at Walmart… with no makeup

Oct. 8, 2011 -- So there I was in Walmart, looking like shit, feeling like shit. I’d been sick for the last six days. Plus I had a huge rash on the left side of my nose because I ran out of Kleenex and started using toilet paper. Not good, my friends, not good.…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on October 14, 2011 at 6:37pm — 2 Comments

Note to self: No more "dirty dancing"… and find a new grocery store

Oct. 8, 2011 -- It’s Friday night and I’m alone in the house. I’m sitting in my big chair with the TV off wondering what I’m going to do with myself until my little one comes back on Sunday from visiting her dad. My adult child is out doing whatever young adults do on Friday nights.…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on October 14, 2011 at 6:28pm — No Comments

Feeling blessed, grateful and thankful

Sept. 6, 2011 -- I’m on an emotional roller coaster. I’ve cried tears of joy. I’ve cried tears of pain. And at times, well, I’ve just cried.

My attorney called today. The judge came back with a decision after a week of deliberating in regards to the custody of my youngest daughter. He ruled in my favor. The judge also ordered to dissolve the marriage, which means I’m officially divorced.

I wasn’t expecting the latter piece of news. I was expecting…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on October 14, 2011 at 6:00pm — No Comments

Will my nest be half empty soon?

The contractions started just after midnight. I was already three weeks late so I’d been eager to just “have this baby already!” But the pain was unlike anything I’d ever felt. Then a wave of panic hit me like a brick. Suddenly, it became harder and harder to breathe. I guess this is what they teach you in Lamaze. Too bad I blew off the class……

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on August 25, 2011 at 4:09pm — No Comments

One year later: Surviving a crisis and finding peace

The following was written on July 23, 2011 somewhere in southern California.

I’m lying in bed. My youngest is next to me, lying on her stomach and hogging the pillows as she watches “Good Luck Charlie” on the Disney Channel. My oldest is in the bed next to us texting, facebooking, googling and listening to music simultaneously on one device.

We’re staying at a really, really nice hotel on the beach thanks to a very, dear friend and…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on July 29, 2011 at 12:19am — No Comments

Financially in the dark and in denial

He was sitting across the table from me at a restaurant inside the five-star hotel where he was staying.

“Order anything you want. It’s on me and you need to eat,” he said with a touch of pity in his voice. I could tell that he could tell that I’d been crying. My swollen, red eyes were a dead giveaway.

I kept it simple and ordered the two-egg breakfast with a slice of bacon and toast.

“What are my options?” I asked him, after getting past the introductions…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on July 6, 2011 at 4:30am — No Comments

Honoring my mother on Father’s Day

It started a few days ago when I saw a picture of my grandfather. My mom and my aunt each used different photos of my grandfather as profile pictures on Facebook. After all, it was the week leading up to Father’s Day, and they loved him dearly.

One by one friends changed their profile pics, honoring their fathers, making an unspoken declaration: “My father was a good man.”

You see, if he was a bad man, you wouldn’t give up the coveted “profile pic” spot.…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on June 19, 2011 at 2:31am — 2 Comments

The very first kiss

He grabbed me by the hips and pulled me in, closer to him. With all certainty and without warning, he kissed me for the very first time. From that moment on, I was his.

“He’s the one,” I said to myself. “This is the man I’m going to marry.”

It’s…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on June 12, 2011 at 5:07pm — No Comments

Why does Daddy lie to me?

“Why does Daddy lie to me?”

These six little words dangled in the air for what seemed like an eternity. That’s how long it took me to exhale.

Meanwhile, the hamster wheel in my head was working overtime. This was such an important question and I didn’t want to blow it.

When she was younger, I anticipated the questions she would one day ask.

“Where do babies come from?” “Is Santa real?”

I never imagined that she would ask such a…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on June 11, 2011 at 3:00am — 4 Comments

Family vacation 2005: The good, the bad and the ugly

Today was a good day. I got the magic e-mail from the ex containing two letters (“OK”), which gave me the green light to take my little one out of state for vacation next month. Just me and my two girls, which will be a huge change of pace for us.

The last family vacation included a caravan of two minivans and one SUV transporting 15 people to southern California. It was the summer of 2005.

The caravan traveled like a well-oiled machine, each vehicle traveling…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on June 7, 2011 at 4:54am — No Comments

Half-truths and sugar-coated memories

I said something out loud recently. Something I hadn’t had the guts to say to anyone before. Not even to myself. I may not have even realized it until the words left my mouth.

Saying this out loud not only took me by…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on May 31, 2011 at 4:25am — No Comments

My relationship with God is complicated

My relationship with God is complicated. Or simple, depending on how you look at it.

Although it’s been a while since I’ve been to church, I talk to God every day. Some days, I talk to God all day long.

If God is truly…

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Added by TwoKidsandaFish on May 18, 2011 at 7:37pm — 4 Comments

The day I made my therapist cry

How my trauma egg brought my therapist to tears

Draw an egg, she said.

"You’ll be writing all the traumatic events that have ever happened in your life inside this egg,” my therapist explained.

I better draw a pretty big, frickin egg, I thought to myself as I stared down at the blank canvas of white paper in the middle of the floor.

“Do you have a bigger piece of paper,” I asked, half-joking.

So I had my… Continue

Added by TwoKidsandaFish on May 7, 2011 at 1:58am — No Comments