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Nuckingfutsmama's Blog – September 2010 Archive (10)

Tell-Tale Signs of Parenthood

Like it or not, there are certain indicators that announce to the world that you, my friend, are a parent. Some of them are subtle, and some of them are lit up like Times freaking Square. And rather than deny some of the more embarrassing aspects of raising a shorty (ie: an unexpected nipple slip in the checkout line at the grocery store), it's better to just embrace them…

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Added by nuckingfutsmama on September 30, 2010 at 11:00am — No Comments

Opinions and Assholes

I am sooooo sick of all the parenting buttinskis out there who think they can go ahead and stick their nose into everyone else's motherly/fatherly business. It absolutely amazes me how easily these people just spew their opinions like they're friggin' Dr. Spock himself. If I wanted to know what you thought about the job I'm doing, chances are, I'd ask you. However, I don't…

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Added by nuckingfutsmama on September 29, 2010 at 10:00am — 6 Comments

I Smell Trouble

So it seems that my son hasn't really gotten off to the best start at school this year. He's been getting into trouble by not following the rules of his classroom. Surprisingly, this is the same friggin' kid who normally goes the whole year without even speaking to his teacher! Talk about a 180! Yep, I'm thinking it probably wasn't the best plan of action to put…

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Added by nuckingfutsmama on September 28, 2010 at 10:00am — 1 Comment

Things I've Learned This Week

** We use a lot of damn toilet paper in this house.

** A threat is more successful if you actually follow through with it.

** My seven year olds have more friggin' homework than grad students.

** If you don't like driving in the rain, it's probably best not to drive in the damn rain.

**…

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Added by nuckingfutsmama on September 24, 2010 at 2:00pm — 1 Comment

The Gun Show

I think I've mentioned before that I am a magnet for all things stupid. (Remember Stinky McStink from the grocery store?) Well, it seems the crazies found me once again over the weekend. Yep, leave it to me to go into a sporting goods store for a jump rope and get a front row seat to the "gun show"…

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Added by nuckingfutsmama on September 20, 2010 at 12:00pm — No Comments

Homework Time Can Kiss My Ass

Why do I feel like homework time is nothing but an exercise in patience for the PARENTS??!! I don't know about you, but I despise this time of the day even more than when my alarm clock goes off in the morning. (And I LOATHE the crack of dawn, y'all!) It seems that helping my kids with their homework never ever ends with anyone feeling any sense…

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Added by nuckingfutsmama on September 16, 2010 at 10:00am — No Comments

The Kid Who Shit All Over My Bliss

Even though it was a short one, last week was just a crazy-ass week. After dealing with Goatdog and his wacky ailments, my body was one big bundle of stress and nerves. So, I thought I'd treat myself to a massage at the end of the week. I figured it would be good for me to relax and let my mind go for a bit -- what I did NOT figure though was that I'd be subjected…

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Added by nuckingfutsmama on September 14, 2010 at 1:00pm — No Comments

No Further Questions Please

I think I've developed an allergic reaction to question marks, thanks to my unbelievably inquisitive children. They have completely beaten me down with all their constant questioning about every freaking little thing under, over and beyond the moon. I'm quite certain that I would completely crumble if ever called to the witness stand in court because my brain comes…

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Added by nuckingfutsmama on September 13, 2010 at 12:00pm — 2 Comments

Another Awkward Moment

Two things to note before you read this post: 1). I do not believe in getting help unloading my groceries into the car. 2). I am not a fan of hugging complete strangers. Put both of these things together, and you will understand why I wanted to both die AND put a voodoo curse on the entire staff of my local grocery store this weekend.

So…

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Added by nuckingfutsmama on September 7, 2010 at 12:00pm — 2 Comments

My House Is A Mess So Deal With It

It's funny how the older I get, the less I care about things that used to totally ruffle my feathers. Maybe it's cause I'm too frickin' tired all the time to sweat the small stuff, or maybe it's cause my brain's overloaded with all the other shit that's always going wrong. Whatever the case may be, I find myself not wasting energy with things like worrying about my house…

Nuckingfutsmama's Blog – September 2010 Archive (10)

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