Okay, I'm sure most of you have either been wondering why I've been so quiet or, some have just given up on guessing and came to your own conclusion that I have finally had enough with this nonsense I call my life, threw in the towel on whatever self control I have left, and have been sharing a fancy sleeping space next to Big Bertha on Cell Block B...........  Not quite.  Not yet anyway!  I continue to shock even myself with this extremely high tolerance level for people pissing in…

For those of you who have been following me a while you know we had to travel last week to an out of state Mitochondrial Specialist.  We learned quite a bit on our first road trip to recovery.  The most important thing we learned is that next time we will sell whatever we have to and we will FLY!

No matter how many times I reminded my kids that this recent trip was NOT a vacation they seemed to get more excited by the second.  By the time we woke up on the morning of our road trip to…

Have you ever felt like you were having a day when everyone was trying to piss you off on purpose? Like no matter where you went or who you ran into, you just happened to end up either in front of or on the phone with someone who was dying to spill diarrhea from their mouth? I had one of those days every day this week. Since it was one of my New Year's Resolutions to call people out when they spew stupidity "CACA" style in front of me, I'm going to say it's safe to give myself a pat on the…

The time is 9:36.  I am just now walking in the door from dropping my last child off at school.  Late.

I tried to think of an excusable reason for the sign in sheets at the front office but, I got nothing here.  If I was being honest I would have wrote:

REASON: Because the year is 2013 and I haven't slept since 1995.

We obviously woke up before 9:30 but, I decided we woke up "late enough" to take our sweet ass time.  Thing 1 must've been…

I've got an awesome Giveaway for you guys.  Please pass this on to someone who can benefit or enter the Free Giveaway Contest for a friend!

"Premama is a prenatal vitamin drink complete with key nutrients including DHA, Folic Acid, and Iron. Packed with Ginger, Vitamin B6 and Magnesium to help moms with nausea and digestive relief."

Say Bye-Bye to Horse Pills...…

Genetics Loads the Gun.

Environment Pulls the Trigger.

I would say this is for all of my readers that are special needs parents but, I'm hoping you already know.  If you don't understand it quite yet well then please read on.  It's never too late.

This is really important for everyone to understand especially, if you haven't…

My husband and I just celebrated our 12th year of wedded <del>bliss </del> nit picking.  We got married pretty young so, we didn't  really stand a chance in hell.  Clearly, we are  bigger Rock Stars in the marriage department than we originally thought and deserve a little more credit than we give ourselves.  I decided to take an inventory of what has been working so well in our relationship.  So, last night as I sat alone in the peace and quiet because all the kids went straight…

Every scream is different.  As a parent we can tell the difference in each one of our babies cries.  There's usually a unique pitch for hungry, tired, bored, or diaper change.  Then, every baby tucks away a specially reserved,  very high pitched, fast screeching.  That is usually the sound of pain.

As our kids get older the cries eventually turn into yelling.  They might yell because they are frustrated or need attention.  They might get startled or stub a toe.  The older they get…

I just happened to turn on the TV for a second the other night before I went to bed.  I was already half asleep and was just looking for some noise to put me out all the way.  The Letterman show was on which I would normally kill faster than lightning.  Thank God it was dark and it took me a second longer to find the severely worn numbers.  Since I'm an 80's kid…

For anyone that has a special needs child. This is for you. Please read on and share when your done.

I'll never forget when Thing 3 was diagnosed with Global Development Delay. It was the first of a very long list she would eventually be diagnosed with. I was not overwhelmed or traumatized. I was pissed. I felt like we were being cheated. We already knew she was developmentally delayed from head to toe. What I wanted to know was WHY. That day of the very first diagnosis was also the…

This week the word growth is my least favorite word. That word is supposed to bring positive thoughts but, instead it's causing an upset in my life! All of my little hellions seem to be getting all grown up on me. It's scaring me to death!

Thing 1 actually came home on the honor roll for the first nine weeks. Now, I have no idea what I'm going to do with my extra hour every night. I've spent about an hour every night for the last 3 years harping on her about her grades and now that I…

Your first born  child will always be your oldest but, they will also always be your first. With that comes a lifetime a firsts only they can supply you with.

First Love.

First Diaper change.

First mouth to feed.

First baby to rock to sleep.

First toddler to drive you batty.

First child to read you a story.

First child to walk to the bus.

First child to challenge you.

First child with hurt feelings to…

How many of you knew that THIS YEAR at least 4,400 CHILDREN will commit suicide?

Please read that again.

Do I have your attention?

October is National Bullying Awareness & Prevention Month!

For More Shocking Stats please click HERE

Hey everyone! Today is going to be all about the little princess in your life! We all have at least one. Mine are my two daughters. Maybe yours is your granddaughter, niece, student, friend, sister, or even cousin.

Tiffany over at Bedazzled Bowtique has offered to give away FREE  hair bows to 3 of my readers! I'll tell you a little more about that in a second because first, I want to tell you a…

For those of you that have been with me a while now you probably remember my post STOP Now or I'll Embarrass us Both

I highly suggest you go back and read the entire post but, I'll give you a basic low down. In my opinion it was one of the best posts I've ever written. All of my posts are honest and heartfelt but, this is one particular topic I feel very strongly about.…

I had a couple Giveaways end last week and I'm going to announce those winners today, but first I want to share a couple pictures with you.

If my parents ever figure out how to use a picture scanner I'm totally screwed because they could probably dig out very similar pictures of me as a child.  Except in every picture of my first decade on earth I am sporting plaid pants, a turtle neck, glasses and a short curly pixie haircut.  I said short...curly...pixie...haircut.  Ya…

Welcome to all my new readers.  I have so many new followers and subscribers this week.  How exciting!  Once a week I talk about what is going on with my special needs daughter "Thing 3" and today is that day.  Sometimes it's angry.  Sometimes its sad.  Sometimes its downright hilarious because well....that's Thing 3!  The girl is so crazy funny I see stand up comedian in her distant future!

Last week, I shared a story titled…

EVERY family has issues.  Some families choose to "act" like they are picture perfect but, trust me they all have issues.  I know that my own personal family situation is SO messed up that if I told it on this blog I'm 90% certain I would get an offer for a book deal, a movie deal, or both. (Or quite possibly The Jerry Springer Show!)   We're always drawn into other peoples drama because it makes us feel better about our own.  Nobody likes to feel like The Lone Ranger.  SO, why is…

I've got dresses, shoes, flowers and nails practically coming out my a*s at this point.  I don't have the slightest idea how Thing 1 ever got me to agree to this bullsh*t but, she is still gooing to TWO separate homecomings.  Her very sweet sasquatch size boyfriend (6'4)  goes to a different school.  I have no doubt that I have 2nd degree burns on my brain from this lengthy visit to Homecoming Hell.

I'm proud of myself though because I've been quite the little ball of…

Hi Everyone!

My name is Nikki.  I am the slightly insane Author of Dysfunctional Dose.  I am a Yankee born, southern livin Mother to 3 beautiful pain in the a** children.  I have 2 tween's (1 with special needs) and 1 teenage eye rolling drama queen!  My kids are my life.  Writing is my passion.  I finally feel like I have found a way to laugh through this messy dysfunctional life I was have!    I have a very serious Diet Coke…