Let’s face it - the days of wooing a partner have gone to sleep along with having baths on a Sunday and podding peas I’ve picked myself.

Here are 10 of the newest rules for modern relationships:

1: Meeting parents is less of a commitment than accepting him or her as your partner on Facebook.  

2: You can write love letters in less than 140 characters - in line with Twitter’s requirements.

3: Forplay now includes picture messaging.

4: Your phone contract has to be upgraded to account for the extra messaging and extensive picture messaging.

5: Ending a relationship now involves deleting hundreds of pictures from your Facebook profile to stop people commenting on what a great couple you make.

6: Going on a romantic date means the person who lives furthest away drives.

7: Or who owns the nicest car just HAS to drive.

8: You have to invent a witty, individual and sexy username for your dating site profile which conveys everything unique about you in less than 25 characters; this normally also means allowing for four of them to be numbers as hundreds of others have already used that name.

9: Forget the corset - being able to hold your drink is essential to proving you are a strong enough partner to see again.  Also, you must look great but eat well. Be successful and intelligent, but slightly less than him.  

10: Making your own romantic dinner means getting the extra special range from M&S and putting it in the oven with your pinney on.

The New Cinders