A Mom Blog Social Network
A month ago, I created a personal "blessings blog" so I can remember how God blesses me so richly and so often. I absolutely LOVE finding a new blessing every day. I try to stretch my little CPA brain and insert some creativity into my photographs and then write a little tidbit. It's increased my joy meter in my life tremendously.
I surprised myself as I decided to make that blog public, meaning I notified all my Face Book friends and family of my "blessings blog" and even my children. It's a very uplifting place for me so I decided to share with them. If they liked it, wonderful. If not, that's their choice not to like it. I chose, not to share this blog with my family and friends only because I worry about my children's identities and I do share some very personal issues that I don’t' feel they need to read about quite yet in their young lives. One day.........
Anyway, on my "blessings blog" I have been shocked at the responses from my friends. They have been so encouraging and tell me they can't wait to read my next entry. I share each post on my personal Face Book page and I get "likes" and comments daily. At first, I thought everyone was just being "nice" but everywhere I go friends come up to me and compliment me about writing style. They ask me why I started. They can't wait for my next post. I am so flattered but baffled.
Then one day, I checked my blessings blog stats and found a spam comment. Oh no....I never had one of those before so I read it and it upset me. Here's what it said:
"In this grand design of things you secure a B- with regard to hard work. Exactly where you actually confused me ended up being on all the specifics. As people say, details make or break the argument. And that could not be much more correct here. Having said that, allow me reveal to you just what exactly did work. Your writing is very engaging and that is most likely why I am making the effort to opine. I do not really make it a regular habit of doing that. Secondly, whilst I can certainly notice the leaps in logic you make, I am definitely not certain of exactly how you seem to connect the details which in turn help to make the actual final result. For right now I will subscribe to your point but wish in the foreseeable future you link the dots much better."
Ouch! That hurt! I've never been good at taking criticism. I'm a perfectionist and actually don't try much until I'm good at it. I immediately got defensive. I never did respond but I took his criticism personally.
I did not delete this "spam" but let it sit in the spam, where it still sits today. I never erased it. The longer it sat there staring at me I realized that it really wasn't bad at all. It was actually helpful. I have re-read it many times. I never had a true third party read my writing and provide feedback.
It made me think of all the times I tried to be oh so helpful to my children or my friends. I would give them feedback, ever so nicely said, but their reactions weren't always what I expected. They didn’t respond or take my criticism at all. I couldn’t understand why they didn’t' see my point. It all comes back to that old saying that someone has to be open and willing to suggestion or change. You can't change anyone. Just because you believe something is right, doesn't mean the other person will believe in it like you do.
Give them time. Give them time to digest your suggestions. Don't cram it down their throats, even your children. Yes, children do need to learn right from wrong and there is a time and place to teach those lessons don't get me wrong. However as humans our immediate reaction is to become defensive. Remember that when you talk to a friend, it's so hard but don't take it personally. If it's that important, keep trying but say it in a different way. Repeating ourselves over and over annoys others. I admit I am annoying at times so I have attempted to look for new ways to say the same old things. Maybe one day, a light bulb will finally go off!
It took me several times of re-reading this spam comment but I finally saw the light.....the light bulb did go off and I saw the positive and all the good intention that was meant. Thank you whoever you are that took the time to provide me feedback!