Please don't judge me... As much as I love experimental European films and conceptual art (I do), I need to wind down watching mind numbing escapist crap sometimes. What? No judgement remember. Recently I've found a channel I've become addicted to and it's American and titled E! Hello? Why did nobody mention this to me before? You know as I was leaving The Tate Gallery or The Curzon Soho or perhaps when I was in line at the English National Opera. I mean, come on, this channel is incredible.

Hi my name's Vicki and I'm addicted to E!. Nope not that kind-it's not the 90's- the Yank kind.

So flicking through, I saw the ad for Kim & Kourtney Take New York-you know the one where the hot one (Kim) and her slightly less hot sister who is actually hot but has to contend with having the hottest sister in the world (Kourtney) step out of a helicopter with the men in their lives. Yep. Apart from the too tall for his own head, smug looking dude, Kris only lasted 72 days wed to the hot one and this episode sheds light on why. Look I'm a director, I know how editing works but all said and done Kris comes across as a total douchebag and acts like he's just not that into her. He puts her down in that 'oh so subtle, I'm a total dick but pretending otherwise' way and I don't know Kim deserves better right? I mean, she has FABULOUS hair (see evidence above)! So I spend the next hour throwing plastic toy fruit and veg at the tv screen aiming for Kris (believe me it's not hard that guy is 6 foot 10) and voyeuristically viewing every part of these K named beauties' lives from learning Kourtney's boyfriend is into lesbian porm (TMI-that's too much information for you non E viewing folk) and they all truly appreciate Mexican food. It's life enhancing stuff.

But it gets better, as well as this perpetual cycle of reality TV following America's leading ladies, you can also watch Bafta and Oscar coverage on the channel (don't expect film criticism it's more, "wow your dress looks nice" and "George Clooney do you know how hot your are?") but the pièce de résistance is a hilarious programme titled Fashion Police led by the acerbic Joan Rivers and other judges ( don't ask me who, I only recognised Kelly Osbourne) as they bitch about the stars' wardrobe choices on the red carpet. E is simply vital viewing that will make your heart dance, a bit like poetry festivals, where I'm headed now to redeem my soul.