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I am finally winding down the pregnancy of my second child, I am so happy. When people tell you that each pregnancy is different boy they did not lie. Yet, I am so scared when son is born. I know what you are thinking you already have a child so why are you afraid to have a second child? Well that's it I only have one child. One child that I can give all my attention too. One child that I play with and do have to divide my time with. One child that I have to load up in the car. One child I have to fight with why she cannot wear a white jogging suit top with a pink butterfly on it with a hot pink skirt with black ruffles and purple tights with a pair of too small shoes to school. One child I have to fight about why she cannot have potato chips as dinner. One child that I have to call in the SWAT team to take a bath. I could go on and on about the one child dilemma. So having a second child is so scary to me.

One of my biggest fears is time. My parents are hard-working people. So for them trying to spend equal time with me and my siblings was very hard. I mean I turn out great, but it does kind of leave a sour taste in your mouth when your parents cannot show up for something due to work or too tired for working long hours or playing Russia roulette to determine which child event they would attend. So I don't want to do the divide and conquer thing with my children period. Plus having Miranda she is used to having all of my attention to herself so she doesn't have to share mommy time. So I know I have to figure out how to divide my time with her and her brother equally plus not let her feel like mommy don't have time for her anymore.

Second, I don't want any of my kids to feel that I show favoritism. Some parents don't see that sometimes they carter to one child more than the other and I don't know how they don't see it, but I know I don't want to be one of those parents. I want to show equal amount of attention and love to my kids. To make sure that both of my kids get the same punishment and praise. To me that can cause division among siblings; I don't want that to happen.

Then there is attitude and characteristics. Having to raise two different characteristics is a challenge to me. Miranda is more of, I want it now kind of child. With no patience, but love to imagine and dress up and be girly she is a mommy girl to the heart plus she has her tomboy moments. So I've gotten used to that I got that down pat. Having a boy is totally out of my comfort zone. I know boys can be a little more rough than girls, but they are not as moody as girl and Miranda is 4 ½ and she already moody. God knows I am not going to make it to teenage years with her. Any who my fear is how in the world will I deal with these two different personalities. Take that back three different personalities if you include my husband. OK four personalities because sometimes I have my days where I'm just like whatever child whatever. SO how am I going to do it? Will it just automatically come natural to me? Will it just happen with a flip of a switch? I'm telling you I am having some real issue with the whole second child.

Last, but God knows not least patience. Miranda works my patience, a lot. I don't know if it's a four- year old thing just to see how far she can get away with something, but on a daily basis I am constantly telling baby Jesus to help me not to lay hands on this girl because if I do it will not be in the name of Jesus. So having two kids I really do believe will cause me to start drinking and I don't drink. It is hard for me to be patience with me sometimes. Like now I have laundry that really needs to be clean, but what I am doing typing my blog and then when it time for Marion to get home I am running around the house scream OMG "where did the time go?" SO I really and truly have to work on this patience thing a lot.

So hopefully I will make it through this life of two kids in the house and the same time. I know for their sakes we got to come out of this alive. Plus my poor husband, lawd, just pray for him. So I will keep updated on my progress and my sanity of raising two kids.

Till then take care

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