Friends, I have a confession to make... I struggle with lust.
And it's not the kind of lust that immediately pops into your mind when you consider the word, either.
I struggle with the lust of praise.
Born a people-pleaser, I have battled with this particular stronghold for as long as I can remember. I thrive off of the praise of others. I crave it- even when I am not consciously seeking it out. Oh, I am the master at pretending to be embarrassed when I am in the spotlight. Embarrassed when people praise me for a job well done. Humbled, even-when others seek out my attention...but deep down... I relish in it. It puffs up my ego. I feel special. I feel sought after. Something to be desired.
And that friends... is a sin.
The Lord makes this inescapably clear in His Word, "I am the Lord, that is My name; I will not give My glory to another..." (Isaiah 42: 8). Then again in Isaiah 48:11 He states, "For My own sake, for My own sake, I will act; For how can My name be profaned? And My glory I will not give to another."
 
 
Friends, I was seeking glory for my own name. Often under the banner of giving glory back to the Lord. Finally, I think He had had enough of my attention seeking and broke me of this awful habit this afternoon. His Truth came swift and hard. I had no alternative but to cry out to Him, asking for His forgiveness. Yet He was gentle and far more gracious than I deserve.
It has been my desire from the very beginning of this blog that I would share all that the Lord is working in me- not just the triumphs. Not just the victories. But the messes that I make. The failure. The heartache. The struggle. I do not wish to be merely relate-able to those who read this. It is the deepest cry of my soul that my words will point people to Jesus. 
Jesus. 
The Author and Perfecter of my soul.
Jesus.
The Healer.
Jesus.
The Redeemer.
Jesus.
The Savior.
Jesus.
The Alpha and Omega.
Jesus.
The Faithful and True.
Jesus.
The Defender.
Jesus.
The King of kings and the Lord of lords.
Jesus.
The Merciful One.
Jesus.
The Prince of Peace.
Jesus.
The Righteous One.
Jesus.
The Lamb that was slain.
Jesus.
The Holy One of Israel.
Jesus.
Almighty God.
I offer up the broken pieces of my heart, asking only that God would somehow use them to HIS glory. 
Not my will... but Yours be done.

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Tags: faith

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Comment by Kimberly Bradley on August 15, 2012 at 10:57pm

Thank you Megan for being so transparent...a humbling experience I am sure.  If we are all honest with ourselves and each other, lust for praise is something we all crave.  It's just a "fleshy" aspect of our human nature.  But to be aware of it and acknowledge it's presence in your life is spiritual maturity.  He revealed it to you to further mold you into who He is making you to be.  Stay strong ~ you're doing a great job!  (Praise intended!)  :)

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