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Lately I've been obsessed with the fact that I am getting older. This, after all, is my last year at the “young” half of my thirties. I worry about wrinkles, gray hair and that “old person smell'. With this obsession has come a lot of reflecting. I am thinking about who I was, who I am, and who I want to become before I turn forty. In all of this deep reflection I realized some very interesting things about myself. A main one is how much my taste in celebrity men has changed over the years. It obviously says a lot about me and how I am maturing and changing.
Obviously, no girl crushes on the same celebrity her entire life. I mean, except for those really religious girls whose famous crush is Jesus. But, for the rest of us, our taste changes. When I was a kid my biggest crush was on Larry from Perfect Strangers.
First of all he looks like a pedophile, with a clown wig. A total dork. And he looks about 40. Not a good, Brad Pitt 40, either. He looks like the kind where is really 20 and is aging horribly. I LOVED this guy. His pictures were very difficult to find, as you can imagine. I clearly remember watching Perfect Strangers on Friday nights at my dad's house and would think about how when I was older I might marry this guy. Thank god that didn't happen.
I also loved Patrick Dempsey. Now, I was a kid, so this was no McDreamy I was crushing on. It was the “Can't Buy Me Love” version:
Again..another curly poofy hair mess. Skinny and lanky. And I'm pretty sure I liked the nerdy version of him better than when he turned “cool”. I thought he was hot when he mowed the lawn of that rich girls house. I guess I liked how he worked hard for his money.
Last, I loved, loved , loved Paul Riser. Weird, Right? Because I was like 10 and he was at least 45 also, he is SO not funny. I think I liked his forward thinking by choosing to play “not gay” guy in My Two Dads. It wasn't even remotely cool to be gay then, let alone let people be unsure if you were or not. What a daring guy! I loved him in that dumb show with Helen Hunt too. And look, he has the fro as well.
So we can assume that as a kid, my dad (who was dorky, silly and had curly hair) was obviously not present and so I crushed on much older guys with hair issues. I definitely found the “silly nerd” type more appealing than the “cool jock. I guess I figured it would be a good idea to be the better looking one in the relationship, as that way the guy wouldn't leave. (Smart for a twelve-year-old right?)
If I think about guys I dated in high school, they were all a combination of older than me, big Brillo pad texture hair, and they were all kind of funny, but not really. So I guess my celebrity type rang true.
But what about now? I do not find any of these men remotely attractive anymore. In fact, it is really bothering me that I ever did. Now my main crushes are: Willie Geist from Morning Joe, Jon Stamos, and LL Cool J. Now what do these guys have in common? Well, sexy smiles, confidence, and they are all Class B celebrities.
Willie is smart. He went to Vanderbilt. He can talk about democrats and republicans getting in a tizzy. He also is a family man and has the nicest teeth I've ever seen. John Stamos has great hair, plus he knows how to change his style with the times. LL, well, he is just perfect all around. I mean how many guys don't ever age?
I guess this says about me now that I like successful, hardworking men, with good dental work. (Although, if you look close, Willie has that hair I am strangely attracted to.)
So have I matured as my taste in men has changed? Well, I'm not so sure about that. It seems to me that as a kid I was not so interested in looks. And now, if a guy isn't wearing his retainer every night he may get wiped off my list. With age comes vanity. I guess that’s where my worries about wrinkles, age spots, and varicose veins come from!
By the time I'm forty I should be crushing on typical hot guys like Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum. I'll get it right.
I should think about these important things in life more often.