Who loves date night? Me me meeee! Who has been on a date in the last week? Month? Six months? Year? Just because you are married does not mean you can't go on a date--with your own spouse, of course. I'm telling you right now, if it has been longer than a month since your last date night you need to finish reading this blog post and make something happen gals (and guys)! You've got to reconnect with the person you fell in love with.

I love being a stay at home mom. I am well suited to the work of a mom and--dare I say it--"housewife." I enjoy being by myself (you know, with one or more kids hanging on me); I am more of a homebody. I love being able to see and be part of every milestone. I like that my days are my own (except for when they are not). I make my own schedule for the most part. I have my routines and I am in charge (except when the kids stage a coup--it happens on occasion). There are things that I need to work on and goals that I set for myself (much like if I were out in the workforce getting paid).

If I complain about anything at all--my number one complaint would be that I don't get to see my husband as often as I would like.  I feel kind of crappy complaining about it because the reason I don't see him as much as I would like is because he is busting his butt so we can pay our bills and so that I can stay home with the kids! With every choice there is a little give and a little take. There is a perfect balance in every household and if one thing gets off kilter the entire Jenga tower collapses.  That's why a couple times a month when I feel like I just can't wiggle another piece free without crumbling, I schedule a date night.

But how, Christine? He works. I work. The kids have us running from sun up to sun down. I don't have a babysitter. What would we do with ourselves?

Get it on the calendar immediately. Write it down. Add it to your Google Calender or your Cozi calender.  Write it on a post it note. Jot it in your planner. Put it somewhere you look every day. Text the date to your spouse. Get it down in black and white. Writing it down gives it a weight, allows it to be a priority. Not something to fit in, rather something to schedule around. It also gives you something to look forward to and I'm sure you know that many times the anticipation of a thing is just as much fun as the actual thing!

 Find a babysitter or two or three.  This is beyond worth it, but may involve moving out of your comfort zone to find them.  When you are a new mom and all of your friends are new moms, you all just sit around asking each other--do have any babysitters? And you all just answer back that you don't but you do know a lot of preschoolers...you are all at the same loss and so what do you do?

• Start a trade off. If you do have a few girlfriends who are all sitting in the same boat, throw your pal a paddle. Offer to sit for her one weekend, if she will sit for you the next. No money need exchange hands as you barter your services. Your kids get a play date (and probably stay out of your hair for most of the night anyway) and your friend gets a night out with the promise that she will do the same for you. It's a win-win.
• Ask around the neighborhood. We only moved into our neighborhood two Octobers ago and still feel like the newbies around here. A majority of the owners here built their homes. We are the second generation, so it's been a little rough trying to break into what seems like a pretty established network of neighbors. During the first month of school, I stood at the bus stop in a small circle of moms who seem to go WAY back (not only am I new to the neighborhood but also new to the area). Part conversation starter, part absolute need to know, I asked if any of them knew of any responsible high schoolers in the neighborhood or babysitters that they used.   Cue crickets. Cue blank stares. Cue one mom turning her back to me. Cue other mom snickering and saying "yeah right." Cue me trying to figure out if I had asked a dumb question, was now seen as dumb, had falsely assumed that responsible teenagers exist, had falsely assumed that any of these women would actually like to get out of the house for a date with their husbands and have a need for said babysitter, had falsely assumed that any of these women would allow me into their innermost circle where they share things like favorite recipes, favorite way to stab a friend in the back, favorite place to hide from the kids, favorite babysitter. Sigh.  It didn't work out so well for me, but I hold out hope that you will have better luck parting the red sea that stands between you and the promised land of after dinner drinks and free flowing kid free conversation. (P.S. I do have some very nice neighbors--and also a few that I just can't get a read on.)
• Ask a trusted friend. I hope you are lucky enough to have a Type A friend in your contacts list. A women who is motivated, organized, and well connected (think teacher/former teacher). I have a friend like that and she is a blessing to me. All I had to do was shoot her an e-mail, ask the question, and within three days I had a list of 12 names to work with and she had CC'ed every mom in her address book. I call this friend the Great Connector. Now we all have babysitters for any evening of our choosing and there is no longer an excuse to not get together with each other once a month (Well, at least the excuse of not being able to find a sitter is out!)

Date night at home. IF you can have the kids ready and in bed at a reasonable hour..it will take some motivation and planning, but it is possible to have a date at home. However, date night does have to be something out of the ordinary to count. I didn't say extravagant-- what I said was it has to be something beyond you frittering time away on Pinterest while your husband falls asleep to the sound of the hockey game. Here are some ideas that could work for us--and you can tweak them to your liking, of course:

• Save your dinner for after the kids are in bed. Light a candle. Turn off technology and eat in peace. I could stop there it sounds so heavenly.
• Break out the board games. Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, Yahtzee. We played a lot of board games while we were dating and newly married so pulling these games out takes us back to before we had kids. If you are competitive--and we are--I highly recommend placing friendly wagers on these games--free passes on household chores, massages, use your imagination...
• Put in a movie--home movies are fun (how often do you actually get to watch them?) or an old favorite, or something you picked up from Red Box. Sit next to eachother. Pop popcorn. Turn down the lights. 
• Write and exchange letters together. Sometimes it's just easier to write it down. Take some time--10 minutes--to write eachother a love letter....seal it and exchange, but don't open it just yet. Enjoy the evening together, share a bottle of wine or dessert. Have a conversation that doesn't involve the kids or logistics and just enjoy each other. Leave the letters for the next morning when you get up. Hopefully it will be a wonderful way to start your day and help you remember the awesome time you had the night before.

I hope I've made the case for date night for you.  Just writing this post has motivated me to take my own advice and get some date nights on the calendar. I know we've got some creative readers--so please share your ideas for an at home date night, advice on finding a babysitter, and tips for making it a priority! I can't wait to see what you have to say! And if you are looking for more ways to strengthen your relationship, or add a little spice, check out Janene's post 5 Things to Do For Your Hubby ASAP!

P.S. Don't forget to link up with us tomorrow when we talk about The BEST day EVER (this week).

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