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I have to say that I have not been writing much because a) there has not been a lot to say and b) I am so overwhlemed with school schedules and other activities that there just has not been time to sit and think.
But, the last two nights some really odd dreams are entering my conscious and I have to know if this is normal or a warning from God that something is about to happen.
Night before last, I went to bed early. It was a rough day with kids and activities and absent husband so I took myself and put myself to bed, two kids next to me, at 9pm. At 10:30 I woke in a cold sweat. I'd had a horrible dream.
I was in a house, I don't know where or which one - it was not this one - and the kids and I were watching a plume of smoke from the Texas Wild Fires out of our window. We were chatting and having a great time. Katie and Sarah lost interest and ran off but Megan stuck to me, which is her norm.
All of a sudden, the smoke turned into a massive tornado - in South Texas? - and headed straight for the house we were in. I remember thinking, "Get the kids and into the bathroom." but it came too fast and made a direct hit. All I could do was lay on Megan. The tornado passed and I guess my mind jumped scenes because the next thing I know, Sarah and Katie are on the same gurney, laying on top of each other, both alive, eyes open, and being put in an ambulance.
And then I woke up... sweating and crying.
It was horrid. And I stared at the ceiling for hours replaying the dream and my actions over and over again and thinking how I would handle that if a tornado hit this house.
When I finally did fall back asleep, I awoke again about an hour later to another nightmare. But I can not recall that one.
Last night, I put went to bed at my usual bedtime, around 2am, and woke at about 7am after another, very vivid nightmare.
I was in a house, again, I don't know which one. My mind said this one but it was different.
I had Katie with me but I could not find Sarah and Megan. I asked my husband, who was in the garage, as usual, and he shrugged his shoulders. I could not find them.
Panicked I ran through the house screaming their names.
Finally, I noticed that the bathroom door to Sarah's room was closed. I opened it, scared out of my mind, and there, in the bathtub, face up, nose barely sticking out is Sarah, unconscious. I screamed and grabbed her, turned her upside down, shook her with all my might, and finally... she took a breathe and gave me her perfect Sarah smile. I cried and cried and cried... even after I woke.
I did find Megan as well, after several scenes of opening unending bathroom doors and seeing full bathtubs, sitting on the couch.
I still tear up thinking about these nightmares.
So, I ask... is this normal? Is something about to happen that I need to be prepared for? No one died in these events and, rationally, I know that these particular events won't happen. But is this a warning?
I have always trusted my dreams. Most of them lead to the truth. I dreamed I was pregnant before I was, I dreamed two of my three were girls, and I pictured Megan, almost to a T when I was pregnant with Katie.
So, should I be worried? Should this feeling of complete dread and instant tears be justifiable for a future event?
Or is this just normal. My exhibition of dreams of a Mother?