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It’s 2 o’clock in the morning.
And I am wide awake.
I should be fast asleep.
Indeed I was fast asleep. Two hours ago.
But now I am wide awake. Thanks to one of the babies crying out.
Of course, the baby (either Lola or Lance, I have no idea who) went straight back to sleep. Whereas their poor mother (that would be me) rolled over and did not.
Five minutes passed. Sleep was not forthcoming. I went for a pee. And heard a fly buzzing around the bathroom. The buzz of a pissed-off fly trapped in the bathroom is not conducive to sleep. Indeed it provided my brain with just the right amount of stimulation to set the cogs slowly turning.
I hopped back into bed.
But the more I tried to focus on sleeping, the more the thought that I’ve been trying to keep at bay pushed itself back into my conscious.
So I’ve given up.
Perhaps if I spell out what is bothering me my fears will go away.
But I doubt it.
You see, next week I am scheduled for cataract surgery. And to put it bluntly, I am bricking myself.