Hey You, I Like Your Stretch Marks

There's nothing like having children to give your life meaning, or to force you to re-examine your alcohol allowance.  I'm sure I can move some things around in the budget...Yep, looks like we're ditching the smart phones, it's all about prioritizing people.

There was a time in my life where I'd set my alarm 30 minutes before having to leave the house.  5 minutes to dress, 15 for hair and make-up (talk about luxuries!), and 10 for coffee.  Now I require a solid 2 hours.  Roughly 1 hour and 50 minutes to change, dress, feed, re-dress, wipe butts, find socks, put shoes and coats on, remember we forgot to brush teeth, take off shoes, brush teeth, nurse baby because it's taken so long she's hungry again, get her in the carseat carrier, find 3 year old trying to put his spider-man costume on, dress him AGAIN, put shoes on, time for another potty break, take off shoes, remember I'm still in my pajamas so quickly use remaining 10 minutes to change and take a quick peek in the mirror, then leave the house with two different shoes on.  Success!

Fortunately kids have a way of putting things in perspective.  There was also a time in my life, pre-babies, where if my size 1 jeans felt a little snug I'd replace at least one of my 2 meals a day with a red bull and a piece of gum.  Wouldn't want something dreadful to happen, like my thighs touching.  If life starting feeling a little out of control I'd see how much food I could go without in an attempt to regain some semblance of control.  I'd pride myself on how little I could eat.

Kids watch your every move like a hawk.  You're having a beverage, they need a beverage.  You're playing on your phone, they need to play on your phone.  You're driving, they need to drive.  Hey it's only fair right?  I once watched my two year old throw a huge tantrum in the middle of the parking lot, sobbing because I wouldn't let him drive.  He was all "mommy Conor DRIVE," and when I responded with "No baby, it's illegal" he apparently lost the will to go on.

Point being when I realized having kids would mean being imitated 24/7 I realized it was time to make even more changes. 

I still like to be a control freak when it comes to my food.  But now instead of going without, I eat ridiculously healthy.  I put my energy into finding new and fun ways to make nutritious, vegan food that is also delicious. 

My ass hasn't seen a pair of size 1 jeans since 2009, I've come to terms with that.  My stomach isn't flat, my arms aren't toned, my thighs are quite bonded, and my stretch marks have made themselves quite at home on my body.  I'd like to say I look in the mirror at all of this and think "damn!  Wassup hot mama" (or something slightly less weird) but I don't.  I am, however, content and at peace with my body.  There are things I'd like to tweak but that's it.

The only things in this world that are worth my life (and apparently my sanity some days) are my children, certainly not my pant size.  I've come to terms with the fact that I will probably pass on to my children many of my OCD tendencies, my love for coffee, and my Irish temper, but I'll be damned if I pass on stupid body image issues to those beautiful little creatures.  The world has enough of that nonsense.

So here's to imperfection.  I don't give a fuuuuuuuuuuuudge.

Originally posted at Meltdowns, Breakdowns, and Time-outs

Views: 13

Tags: humor, models, motherhood, role, weight


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Comment by Susan Maccarelli on February 7, 2014 at 1:43pm

Haha.  Enjoyed reading your post.  It takes me 2 hours to leave the house now too and I didn't know there was such a thing as a size 1 -- haha!

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