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It seems that most people I know have an Elf on the Shelf these days. You know, the little red-and-white-clad guy who hangs out at your house during the whole month of December, flying back to the North Pole to report to the big man at night about your kids' behavior? Yeah, that guy. Anyway, my kids are all about comparing with their friends the wacky hiding places in which they find their elves every morning. And suddenly, I'm feeling the pressure to put on my pointy felt thinking cap and come up with even more wackier places for "Clyde" to stow himself away.
The first day I tried to one up myself, I came up with the idea for Clyde to look like he'd gotten into the crayon bin to leave a note for the kids. He was even holding onto a green crayon when he was discovered. The kids totally ate it up:
The next day I got even crazier in my elfin adventures by having Clyde scribble his name on the bathroom mirror with my lipstick. I could kick my own ass for not having a video camera or anything in my hand to document when they found him, because they were absolutely speechless. They could not believe the balls on this little North Pole pixie to deface their mama's mirror like that.
And it was everything I could do to keep a straight face.
By far, though, the most trouble Clyde's gotten into was the day he dumped powdered sugar all over the kitchen counter and traced his name into it:
The first thing out of my kids' mouths was, "Whoa! Daddy's gonna be sooooooo mad!" Of course they were giggling like crazy as they tattled on their little holiday hellraiser. I'm pretty sure they were living vicariously through Clyde cause they know they'd be in deep shit if THEY'D done the things that Clyde had done.
My husband tells me that I better not go too overboard with the elf shenanigans or else the kids are gonna start to catch onto me. However, I'm just trying to have as much fun with it as I can, for I fear that this might very well be our last official year of them believing in the whole magic of Santa. And hell, if I'm gonna go out, then I'm gonna go out with a bang and mother effin' bells on my toes, dammit!