I ventured to our local dollar store today.  Not my favorite place to go but my three little kids LOVE the store.  Like, fuck Toys R Us, can we please go to the dollar store, love it.  They know everything in the store cost only a $1.00.  They know everything in the toy aisle is going to be junk.  They don't care.  They love that I let them get 3, 5, or 7 toys each.  Quantity over quality still applies to these three.  And I am a rock star mom when I bring them there.  Honestly, I am.  It's crazy how the simplest (or in this case cheapest) things can make our mom card shine bright in their little eyes.

Today, I bribed them with this dollar store trip.  The deal was they behave while I try to find clothes, they get to pick out toys and candy at the dollar store.  This bribe works like a charm.  Every.  Single.  Time.  And yes, I bribe my kids.  If you say you don't, then you either have a kid too young to bribe or you are lying.  We all do it.  Some of us more than others....

My clothes shopping turned into a disaster for me, but The Big Guy scored some nice new pants and polo's.  I scored a new pair of shoes.  They are pretty cute (thought of you Tracy) but I really need clothes.  (Click here to see why).  The kids behaved while I shopped so after paying, we set off for the dollar store.

Oh the dollar store.  A few interesting items caught my eye at the dollar store today.  As did a few of its patrons.

• Pregnancy Tests:  Listen, I know how expensive those damn things are.  Each time I found out I was pregnant, I spent a small fortune buying ten more tests that all told me the same thing.  However, I would never buy one here.  Actually, I almost did, just to see if would say positive or negative.  Sort of like my own little science project.  How accurate can a $1.00 pregnancy test be?  As one of my blogging friends, Snarkfest said to me earlier, "inquiring minds want to know."
• Ovulation Tests:  Read above and apply here.  Since I feel as though the bitchiness of PMS is about to take over, I could really test out this product.
• At Home Marijuana Test:  If you are buying an at home marijuana test at the dollar store, we need to talk.  And not just about the fact that you are buying an at home marijuana test at the dollar store.  I may or may not have bought this as a gag for someone.  Okay, I did.
• The Expansive Selection of Hair Coloring Products:  Do not buy these.  Any hair coloring that costs a $1.00 is not going to lead to a happy outcome.  It just won't.

And last but not least is the well dressed, expensive shoe wearing 60-something year old gentleman who was returning some purchases he had made the day before.  Sigh.  Deep breath.  Sighing again.  I would ignore this if the person looked as though they needed the few bucks back in their wallet.  This man did not.  I do not care what you bought at the dollar store.  Do not bring it back.  How could you bring it back?  It was a dollar.  No more.  No less.  I was embarrassed for him.  Actually, I was shocked.

See, I told you the bitchiness of PMS was upon me.