Yesterday was stupid.
Or yesterday I was stupid. I let the little things get to me (which is funny - more on that in a minute). Ah, the little things. See what I mean with this handy little list:
- Yesterday morning right before I left for work, Jake told me he had 2 softball games that night. Wait. Wasn't softball over? No. He said he would play for this fall league. Please let me explain why this bothers me. I know I am being selfish and a bad person. I know this. But it bothers me because it leaves me with everything to do - if we lived in a house, it wouldn't be AS bad because I could just throw the dogs outside into the backyard (4 more weeks!). But, as it is in our current situation, I have to wrestle two dogs outside - one who is 75 punds and barks at every single dog he sees like he is going to destroy it (he wouldn't) - but still. He's a lot to manage. Doing this with a two year old is hard. It puts me in a bad mood. Again, I'm stupid and I know it... that on top of all of the laundry that needed to be done and the general messiness of the place just got to me. Again - the littlest, stupidest things. Oh, and the fact that Jake had waited until the absolute last minute to tell me about softball. I hate being bombarded with things - I'm a planner and I like to know things ahead of time. And he knows this. Okay. I'm done with that one. I'm dramatic and pathetic, aren't I?
stuck up, mean, horrible, really horrible, jerk-faced witch woman was SO incredibly mean and rude to me on the phone at work. I was just collecting her information to set up her account - strictly routine. She acted like I was an idiot the whole time and that I was going to steal her identity or something. I completely get being apprehensive about giving out your information but that in no way constitutes making another person who is just doing her job feel like absolute crap. I really don't understand why people are so mean and feel that it is okay to talk to others in such a derogatory manner. Grr.
- I picked up Logan at daycare. This was good! Then I got this report (again, all good things!) about Logan and his fellow Linus. It just made my heart ache a little for both of them when Logan will have his last day next Friday.
|"talked about Donald Duck and Minnie with Tyler. :) It was so funny. :)"
- The I arrived home to Logan not wanting to eat anything and two frustrating dogs. After an hour of trying to get Logan to eat, I gave up. I gave Logan a bath and put him to bed early because he was such a crab. I then immediately felt guilty about this because I should have spent more time with him and should be a good mommy. I then put the dishes away and cleaned the kitchen, but refused to do the laundry. I then felt guilty about that. The dogs were being annoying, so I yelled at them. I then felt guilty about that. I called Jake and took out my frustrations of the day on him. I then felt extremely guilty about that - you know being a bad wife. I sent 3 apologies via text message. That should help, right?
So, in summary, I just sucked it up again yesterday. I let all of the little things get to me to where I did not give my best to anyone and I ended up in the shower crying while shampooing. Awesome, right?
What's funny about the whole thing is that I have been reading a book that Meg over at A Meg Moment was so kind and generous to send me. When I read this book, I feel so at peace and feel like I'm learning how to be a better person, what to do when things get difficult, and how to give my best and my all to other people. I close the book feeling refreshed and guided -- and then I fail because of the littlest things. I obviously still have a lot of work to do, huh?
Well that was yesterday. Today I will try to be better. That's all we can do, right? :)
I hope your yesterday was far better than mine. I hope your today and tomorrows are wonderful, too! I do apologize for my self-indulgent rant. Now I feel guilty about this post! lol.