Yesterday was stupid. 

Or yesterday I was stupid.  I let the little things get to me (which is funny - more on that in a minute).  Ah, the little things.  See what I mean with this handy little list:

• Yesterday morning right before I left for work, Jake told me he had 2 softball games that night.  Wait.  Wasn't softball over?  No.  He said he would play for this fall league.  Please let me explain why this bothers me.  I know I am being selfish and a bad person.  I know this.  But it bothers me because it leaves me with everything to do - if we lived in a house, it wouldn't be AS bad because I could just throw the dogs outside into the backyard (4 more weeks!).  But, as it is in our current situation, I have to wrestle two dogs outside - one who is 75 punds and barks at every single dog he sees like he is going to destroy it (he wouldn't) - but still.  He's a lot to manage.  Doing this with a two year old is hard.  It puts me in a bad mood.  Again, I'm stupid and I know it... that on top of all of the laundry that needed to be done and the general messiness of the place just got to me.  Again - the littlest, stupidest things.  Oh, and the fact that Jake had waited until the absolute last minute to tell me about softball.  I hate being bombarded with things - I'm a planner and I like to know things ahead of time.  And he knows this.  Okay.  I'm done with that one.  I'm dramatic and pathetic, aren't I?
• A stuck up, mean, horrible, really horrible, jerk-faced witch woman was SO incredibly mean and rude to me on the phone at work.  I was just collecting her information to set up her account - strictly routine.  She acted like I was an idiot the whole time and that I was going to steal her identity or something.  I completely get being apprehensive about giving out your information but that in no way constitutes making another person who is just doing her job feel like absolute crap.  I really don't understand why people are so mean and feel that it is okay to talk to others in such a derogatory manner.  Grr.
• I picked up Logan at daycare.  This was good!  Then I got this report (again, all good things!) about Logan and his fellow Linus.  It just made my heart ache a little for both of them when Logan will have his last day next Friday.

"talked about Donald Duck and Minnie with Tyler.  :)  It was so funny.  :)"

•  The I arrived home to Logan not wanting to eat anything and two frustrating dogs.  After an hour of trying to get Logan to eat, I gave up.  I gave Logan a bath and put him to bed early because he was such a crab.  I then immediately felt guilty about this because I should have spent more time with him and should be a good mommy.  I then put the dishes away and cleaned the kitchen, but refused to do the laundry.  I then felt guilty about that.  The dogs were being annoying, so I yelled at them.  I then felt guilty about that.  I called Jake and took out my frustrations of the day on him.  I then felt extremely guilty about that - you know being a bad wife.  I sent 3 apologies via text message.  That should help, right?  

So, in summary, I just sucked it up again yesterday.  I let all of the little things get to me to where I did not give my best to anyone and I ended up in the shower crying while shampooing.  Awesome, right?

What's funny about the whole thing is that I have been reading a book that Meg over at A Meg Moment was so kind and generous to send me.  When I read this book, I feel so at peace and feel like I'm learning how to be a better person, what to do when things get difficult, and how to give my best and my all to other people.  I close the book feeling refreshed and guided -- and then I fail because of the littlest things.  I obviously still have a lot of work to do, huh? 

Well that was yesterday.  Today I will try to be better.  That's all we can do, right?  :)

I hope your yesterday was far better than mine.  I hope your today and tomorrows are wonderful, too!  I do apologize for my self-indulgent rant.  Now I feel guilty about this post!  lol.

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