Something funny happens when a woman gives birth to her first child. Someway, somehow, this inner monster comes to the surface.

Momzilla.

You may have heard of bridezilla before: "A woman who, in the course of planning her wedding, exercises or a...

Well, a similar complex happens to many first-time moms. Some may hide Momzilla more than others, but she is still there—lurking.

And you better dang well follow exactly what she says.

For example:

"If you ring the doorbell while my baby is sleeping, you will feel my wrath."

"If you even want to think about holding my child, you better make your way over to a bathroom and wash your dirty hands with soap and water."

"If you try to feed my child anything other than formula or breast milk, I will cut you."

Or, "You need to follow this two-page, step-by-step list on how to take care of the baby while I'm gone" (even if it's a seasoned mother of 10 children who is babysitting).

Momzilla usually hangs around for a while but goes away eventually. For me, she started to go away when Miranda hit about six months. It was around that time that I realized that Miranda wasn't going to get tetanus if someone didn't wash their hands before holding her (although I do try to keep her away from sick people).

I think Momzilla goes away because you start to trust people a little more, and let's face it, it's too tiring trying to keep track of who's feeding what to your baby, who's washing their hands and who's not, and who's going to get the evil stare because they woke the baby up from her nap.

Every now and again, I get little sparks of Momzilla (mostly when strangers come up and kiss my baby). But, for the most part, I think I got my Momzilla in check.

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Tags: Momzilla, motherhood

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Comment by Sarah Baird on March 20, 2013 at 9:17am

Oh my gosh! That is the creepiest story EVER! I think you handled things very well. Ew! I would have given her the "I'll cut you" look too.

Comment by Queen Mommy on March 19, 2013 at 7:46pm

I think momzilla when a stranger tries to kiss your baby is PERFECTLY acceptable. A very creepy incident happened to me when I had my son (my first) when he was about 4 months old. My cousin and I were out shopping I waited with the bags while she did her business then she came out and waited with him so I could do mine then I came back to get him so I could change him. While I was changing him a lady kept watching us. I got out everything I would need from the bag and laid him on the changing table and she was still watching. There were TWO empty stalls, so I was on alert. She kept staring at us so I positioned myself to block her view while I quickly (thanking God he hadn't pooped) swapped the wet diaper for the dry one and strapped it on tight. She then moves closer! I gave her "the look" you know the "i'll cut you" one. She then says to me, "Is it a boy or a girl? You just can't tell these days when they have their clothes and diapers on." I left the dirty diaper on the table, and picked my son up half dressed and walked straight out of that bathroom and finished dressing him on the way to the car. Creeeeeepy! I mean WHEN? and WHERE? did people let there BABIES go around with no clothes or diaper just to verify their gender!!!! I still think that perv was trying to see his wee wee





 

 

 


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