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Always on the look out for fodder for a 'Monday Madness' blog I have been spoilt / inundated / surrounded by contenders for the content of this post this week. So much so that I can't choose one winner to write about.
Therefore I give you a blog of pleading and begging, of things to 'please never do' so that both mine, and your, children never have to witness or be subjected to it.
These are the terrible things that I have seen this week and I beg ...
...PLEASE DON'T EVER...
* Buy Christmas chocolates in SEPTEMBER.
Yes, one particular supermarket that I frequent (actually read that as 'used to frequent' - haven't been in there since in disgust) had not just one side, but two whole sides of an aisle smothered in Christmas chocolates. This is wrong. I am still trying to eek out my summer wardrobe in September and do not need Christmas shoved down my throat yet. I understand that people need to budget, certainly, I am one of those people. But, budget the cost, put it away and buy it in DECEMBER. The whole month already dedicated to Christmas. All this early advertising and product placement is just ruining it for this generation of children. Well that is my opinion anyway.
* Ladies - Wear a 'Council Estate Princess' hoodie
At whatever age you are, if one of these graces your body you should be shot, but particularly if you are 50+. I was subjected to this vision, I am ashamed to say in my home town.
* Gents - Wear a 'Last Night a BJ Saved My Life' T.Shirt
Just one thing to say on this. D.O.N.T. If you do it's unlikely you have ever, or will ever experience it!
* Wear Your Pyjama's / Dressing Gown / Slippers Out Shopping
I have seen this occurrence on several different occasions now so am doubting that it is a charitable and / or fundraising activity (and I have to say all by young, teenage girls) and I quite frankly, just don't get it. But I'll tell you this for nothing, if I caught one of my kids parading around the town centre in their PJ's and slippers, they would stand and watch me shred their wardrobe (that they have probably previously told you they can't live without that top / jeans / shoes) GET DRESSED YOU ARE NOT MAKING ANY STATEMENT APART FROM ... YOU'RE A SKANK.
* Give your child a basin haircut
Witnessed at the Yarmouth Races recently. Such a dear little boy, an angelic little face and so well behaved. But being laughed at by so many people (quite literally pointed and sniggered at made me feel quite sick) because he had been subjected to a true basin haircut, with the fringe a good inch shorter than the rest. I wanted to shake the parents for making the poor, beautiful little boy the brunt of the crowds hidden laughter. If I were a hairdresser I would have whipped out the scissors and cut it for free. He may be the son of parents who buck the system and stick their fingers up to the world, but let the child make his own decision when he is old enough if he wants to be that person too.
And thus concludes my post on what the 'maddest' thing(s) I have seen / heard this week. Better starting keeping my eyes peeled for next weeks madness. Apparently having seen what I have this week I won't have to try that hard!