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Recently a friend posed a question. She wondered if it was wrong for a mom to hate a 6th grade girl. Now I don't have the details or the reasons for the strong feelings she is encountering, but the question itself reminded me of similar feelings I had a few years ago when we found out that one of our sons was being bullied severely. What made that news worse was that when pressing for details, our son revealed that it had been going on for about two years. When we found out, I experienced a massive jumbled mixture of emotions. There was an incredulous/guilty feeling that it had gone on for so long and that I had absolutely no idea. There were signs. Oh my there were such signs! He would make himself throw up so he could come home from school. He would cry in the morning or stall when it was time to leave. He would have anger outbursts after school about little inconveniences like no milk in the fridge. Instead of disciplining him for those behaviors, I should have seen them for what they were; symptoms of a bigger problem. There was also this feeling of deep sadness, almost mourning, for my son who had to go to school everyday knowing that he'd end up being pushed, shoved, knowing he'd hear cutting words that made him feel worthless and less than the wonderful kid he really is. The depression that engulfed me when imagining the many scenarios that he must have endured was overwhelming and swallowed me whole. But the strongest feeling that I experienced was a rage like no other rage I have ever felt. Every inch of me hated that bully, that child. Loathed. Detested. One night I had a dream that I actually strangled the boy. I woke up shaky and a nauseous. The anger had taken over.
Read the rest at http://www.muddledmother.com/2011/02/my-bullied-son-mothers-story.html Would love comments. How do YOU suggest I teach my young daughter to handle all forms of bullying?