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The following comments were actually made in my household…by my kids. There is a weird theme evolving subconsciously here….should I be scared? You tell me. And then please tell me that your kids have said something similar, or worse, preferably!
Awkward Statement #1: (setting – our living room, during a nice game of restaurant with my kids) I was just about to order something fancy from my son when he approached me and said, “Hello, madam. My name is Magic Mike and I will be your waiter this evening“. That’s right. My son named himself after a stripper movie. Fantastic.
Awkward Statement #2: (setting – the hallway outside of my daughter’s bedroom. I had told her to get dressed and she emerged wearing a fairly thin camisole which she had swiped from a drawer in my room) I asked her what she was wearing and she replied, “it’s my streetwalker shirt“. No lie. My daughter just owned up to wearing hooker attire. She was actually trying to tell me that she was dressed to go out for a legitimate walk down our street, but obviously that’s not a statement you want to hear from your young daughter whether she understands the implications or not, especially when you know your daughters penchant for stripping out of her clothes and running around the house half-naked on a regular basis.
Awkward Statement #3: (setting – our couch while attempting to change my toddler) He smiled up at me while I glanced in horror at the elephant’s load he was keeping in his diaper and he said, “this is FUN!” At this point, my mind had wandered back to the 2 previous statements from my son, the apparent Chippendale, and my daughter, already dressing as pretty woman, and all I could think of was how I had seen a bizarre episode of CSI with a man killed while at a specialty club while fulfilling his adult diaper fantasy (note to self – STOP WATCHING THESE SHOWS!). Could my baby be telling me he would like to frequent a place like that for, gasp, FUN?! – obviously this conclusion is quite a stretch, but after the first 2 comments, what else was a mother to think?!
Of course, they have no idea what they are saying so it’s pretty hilarious (and I can’t explain to them why I am dying laughing), so I know my thoughts of a tragic future are crazy, but still… All I can say is thank the good Lord that all of these comments were made at our house and not in public!
Seriously, never a dull moment in our house…..