Last weekend when I logged onto Facebook, I found waiting for me a message from my husband's uncle. After reading my blog, he did some research and found the same things I learned a few years ago-- that doctors and scientists have plenty of theories but aren't really sure what causes autism and ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). He asked me a question that I feel is worth addressing here, because I have wrestled with it often. He asked what my gut instinct as a mom told me about what caused our daughters' ASD.
Oh dear lord, where to start? This question takes hold of my brain sometimes and pesters me-- harasses me-- and leaves me feeling a whole bunch of unpleasant things that include exhaustion, exasperation, guilt, anger, and resentment. I used to ponder this idea a lot more when the girls were younger, but less as time goes by. Whether this is because I care less about figuring it out, or that I spend my time doing other things, or that I have accepted that the why doesn't matter much to my situation, is beyond me.