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Four mother eff'ing years old and you still haven't mastered pooping on the potty!!! This is the freaking nightmare I am living everyday. And quite frankly, I'm over it! So over it, that I decided to stray from the doctor's advice of avoiding the dreaded suppository.
This decision was based less on my own extensive medical experience (yes, that is a joke) and more on the fact that Jackson's preschool had threatened to make him stay home on Wednesdays, the day his class went to the local pool for swimming lessons. After a long discussion with the pre-school director on the "consequences" of Jackson pooping in the pool, I could only agree with their decision and promise to do my best before letting him continue with the classes.
The Tuesday night following said discussion I was aware that "Mr. Four Year Old That Doesn't Seem to Care That He Still Is Driving Mom & Dad Crazy With the Potty Training Process" needed a hard lesson and this lesson was coming in the backdoor to clear Mr. Out!!
Five minutes into this very adult decision I felt a regret that I have never felt before in my life. Open to the "medicine" mom was offering, Jackson followed all of mommy's instructions, right up until that suppository was removed from his behind. At that point began a screaming I have to imagine is reserved for child abuse of the worst degree, followed by an extreme type of kicking I am certain karate instructors can only wish they were able to teach their students.
An hour into this mess, as I sit praying for forgiveness for giving my child this evil poison that has turned him into an evil version of Gage from Pet Sematary, I witness the biggest of big, the largest of large, the most ginormous of gigantic poops I have ever seen one person release from their bodies emerge from my toddler son. Thrilled this ordeal is over, yet utterly freaked out by what I have witnessed, I breath easily and realize, "I now have the ultimate good behavior bargaining tool just waiting in the bathroom cabinet!"