The teacup sailed across the room and shattered.
Words fell like meteors bolting through the sky. Hitting hard, damage occurred.
Calloused hearts. The unbridled tongues continued.
The selfish need to be right ruled the moment.
The prevailing thought of "YOU..." consumed the heated argument.
Anger. Lack of self-control. A prideful glance. Better than you. Greater needs than yours. The "I" that destroyed.
"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." Mark 10:45
Too many couples find themselves quite quickly in these scenarios, maybe not with the broken teacup, but with broken hearts from words that wound. I walked this path. I failed the Lord. I failed my husband. I spoke in a manner that brought destruction on my family and did not edify anyone or honor the Lord.
How does the mindset change? How does one release the bitterness, the resentment from the previous session of harmful dissention? How does one forgive? And how does one stop sinning in the same way?
As I dealt with anger, pride, and lack of self-control in my own life, I evaluated these questions before the Lord.
He led me to a number of answers...of spiritual disciplines...easy to state, but difficult to apply.
"Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say, rejoice." Take joy in the difficulty. It is only through the power of the Holy Spirit, the help of the Lord, that I might view my terrible difference with my spouse as an opportunity for joy. What??? With tears flowing from words that harm, I should embrace joy. Yes! God allows this situation for my growth and His likeness to be manifested in me.
In the midst of it, listen to the prompting of the Spirit. Heed the nudge to stop. Whether it be the man or the woman, someone initiate prayer. Think about the real foe. Be willing to confess. I must acknowledge my weakness to the Lord, my anger, and petition Him for help. Run to the Lord for rescue from temptation. It is harder to continue in sin upon entering the presence of the Lord.
Forgive. Meditate on Christ's forgiveness and extend that same grace. He gives liberally to all who ask.
Again, put simply:
By His power at work within me, I discipline myself for godliness by applying three things when I wish to argue with my spouse. I committed these to memory as a "way out" from temptation and I asked the Lord to grant me recall in the moment.
- Stop and pray. (As the woman, it is okay to initiate prayer. It doesn't always have to be "him.")
As the Lord changes me, I ask Him to enable me to do even better...to become further and further from the point of temptation to sin against my husband...especially in anger. I am thankful for the forgiveness of Christ and His power to remake a marriage daily. I am grateful for the numerous resources offered to assist Christian couples and mentors in marriage. I encourage any wife to make it her aim to grow in Christ that she may fully serve her husband.
Moment by Moment in Him,
Connecting with "...to Love, Honor and Vacuum"