Ya know what I've got right here for that crazy bitch Mother Nature? A big fat middle finger pointed smack dab at her face. Why, you ask? Cause I am absolutely convinced that she is conspiring with the universe to take me down for the count. The proof lies in the fact that every frickin' time there's some wacky-ass storm headed toward my house, my husband is out of town. Then throw in the added bonus of a wee one being sick, and you've got yourself one frazzled mama.

So the news has been all a-buzz with what they're predicting to be the worst storm to hit the Midwest in 70 years. There's talk of cyclones and flooding and widespread power outages -- all things that you totally want to happen when you're stuck at home by yourself with two kids. I had to just stop watching the news altogether last night because it was only making me freak out about all the ginormous trees that surround my neighborhood. I don't know about you, but I'm not a big fan of branches slamming into my bedroom window in the middle of the night.

And as if the looming "storm of the century" (yeah, leave it to the media to give EVERYTHING a freaking name) wasn't enough, I also had to live with the uncertainty of whether or not my son was gonna puke some more of his guts out. You see, the poor little dude began vomiting shortly after dinner last night and pretty much continued throughout the night. I swear that my kids wait to pick up the latest bug that's floating around school until their father is out of town. Lucky me.

So most of my night was spent jolting outta bed to try and determine if our house was being swept away or if I needed to start scrubbing the puke bits out of yet another rug. Needless to say, there wasn't a whole lot of shut-eye goin' on. When morning came, I was relieved that we hadn't been shot up into the sky like a bottle rocket and that my little man seemed to be on the road to recovery. But now that I sit here with glassed-over eyes staring at my computer, I'm a little concerned that this might all be the calm before the storm. The trees are starting to sway as the wind picks up, and the sky keeps changing colors. They say it's going to get worse this afternoon. Awesome. Seriously, Mama Nature, I'll gladly send you and the universe out for margaritas if you'll just have mercy on a tired old soul.