Cue up Judy Garland, because Toto, we are definitely not in Kansas anymore!  

On our recent visit out west, we stayed with my mom and her best friend for the week.  They have a lovely home in lovely Bellingham, Washington, but a couple of years ago decided to add-on to their property.

With no children in the house and not really needing to add a lot of square footage, they decided to put in a She-Cave.

Where to even start.

As you can see, there is a bench installed in the shower.  Does that mean you plan on staying in there (doing god knows what) so long that you will have to take a rest, because you will be so tired from standing? 

There were four of us staying there, plus the two hosts, but I think I counted 874 towels in the east wing of the She-Cave. We could have all showered three times a day and there still would have been plenty of towels left over.  

Then there is the actual showering process.  After going in there, I realized the bench is so that you can sit there and read through the myriad of products, that all seem to do the same thing.  Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate!

There is even brown sugar in there that you are supposed to scrub or smear all over yourself.  For some reason, when I bake something with brown sugar, it gets my hands and the counter gross and sticky. But in the She-Cave it promises 'natural wonders' for the skin.  

Now what if some poor fellow with OCD comes in here?  You know, you see the movies with these poor people that can't stop washing their hands. 

Well, what if one of those ended up here? Would they exfoliate themselves down to the bone?  Would they have any skin left at all?  

And what about the children? Would my boys be able to survive the She-Cave?  Would they get lost in there? Would one of the stacks of 48 towels fall on the and hide them from plain site?

Well, they didn't get lost, but they didn't escape unscathed either.

Poor Turner a week later still has the red polish on his toes. Somebody get that kid some pirate tattoos, stat!

And Henry, dear Henry, he was almost worse.  He didn't get painted, but they got inside his head.

"Daddy, guess what my hands smell like?"  

"Henry, how do you even know if your hands smell?"

"Because I have coconut lavender lotion and they smell like coconuts". 

They may as well have spayed us like puppies it was so emasculating there. 

Finally, we made it out alive (and with very soft skin) and headed to the airport.  And after a week at home, they are back to flinging mud and beating each other up 24/7 and the spell of the She-Cave seems to have worn off the boys.

But you can guess who wants a home equity loan to re-do our bathroom....