It’s now the final countdown to the ½ marathon that I’m running at the end of May and I’ve made some drastic decisions.

To start with…umm…I’m running 21.1 freaking kilometers. So that’s pretty drastic. If you sense a note of panic creeping into my tone, you’re freaking right. Holy freak!

Now that my breakdown is out of the way…

I need to revamp my training diet for the next 4 weeks. Conventional running wisdom recommends a diet complete with healthy carbohydrates to fuel the body. I am not conventional or wise, and I know my body. Last year when training for, and running, a 15k race I quickly discovered what worked for me and what made me want to lose my lunch all over the road.

There’s also no point in giving other participants an unfair advantage by running with ahandicap and dragging around more of my posterior than I need to. These drastic measures are meant to create a fair playing field for everyone. Especially me.

So what’s this big, scary dietary change that I’m making? I’m cutting carbs. “Woah! That’s crazy talk woman.” Yes it is. Until May 27th I will not eat most carbs. I’m still all over the fruits.

This means no bread. *Gasp* I don’t think I can survive without bread. Especially a crusty baguette warm from the oven and covered with goat cheese. Or a really hearty pain de seigle slathered with butter and honey. Can’t you just smell it? It makes your mouth water. It makes my mouth water. How about those delicious and dense loaves of potato bread that my local Italian bakery does so well? All. off. limits.

Pasta or rice as an accompaniment at dinner will be a distant memory. Except that I’ll see and smell it regularly. I still have family meals to prepare. I’m not crying over this one, but I’ll still moan about it to milk any sympathy I can from D.

I have a love-love relationship with pastries.  This will be my greatest challenge. …besides the bread. Avoiding pastries of all kinds when everywhere you turn there are butter tarts, apple turnovers, pain au chocolat, Portuguese custard tarts, fruit crisp, and croissant is impossible. Or very nearly. help

I’m allowing myself 1 square of 70% dark chocolate per night. Dark chocolate is rich in flavonoids and antioxidants. True story. Also my family has threatened to exile me to the garden shed if I don’t eat chocolate. I become irrational without a steady consumption.

Not sure if I can do this alone and that’s why I’m declaring my intentions from the webtops. It is your solemn duty to keep me on the straight and narrow. Until May 27th, and then I Am Done and you can stop nagging.

My post-race meal will consist of a dish of whatever-the-hell-I-want-to-eat washed down by a pint of something refreshing and containing alcohol. This will be followed soon after by a 90-minute massage with my RMT and a pedicure. After so much physical torture and deprivation, my body and toes will have earned it.

PS. Don’t tell my family in France about the bread and pastries thing or they may stage an intervention. No self-respecting French woman would ever forego her bread.

Pogne and Suisse from Nivon in Valence

Note from Jack Straw Lane: The Toronto Women’s Runs‘ charitable partner is POGO, the Pediatric Oncology Group of Ontario. I’m using the strength of my legs to help raise funds to support this organization. If you would like to support POGO you can do so bysponsoring my run.