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** We use a lot of damn toilet paper in this house.
** A threat is more successful if you actually follow through with it.
** My seven year olds have more friggin' homework than grad students.
** If you don't like driving in the rain, it's probably best not to drive in the damn rain.
** Chipmunks have turned our front steps into their own personal shitter.
** Wearing a skirt to the playground on a windy day is not the smartest thing I've ever done.
** Someone should really make an app for patience cause I'm fresh out.
** I have been in and out of my car more than Lindsay's been in and out of rehab.
** Volunteering to help in your child's unairconditioned classroom should totally be a paid gig (or at least be accompanied by cocktails.)
** Full moons only occur when my husband's out of town.
** Messes follow me around like a venereal disease.
** I now understand the meaning of "going all postal on your ass".
** It's impossible to remember everyone's name in this freaking house.
** My son chews his food at least 5,888 times before swallowing it.
** I need to find a REALLY profitable corner to work.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
SO TELL ME SOMETHING THAT YOU LEARNED THIS WEEK!!!! >>