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** School doesn't start for 10 more weeks (but who's counting?).
** It's gonna be a LONG summer.
** If it happened on Scooby Doo, then it must be true.
** I've visited pretty much every public restroom from here to Timbuktu.
** Hugh Hefner's fiancee must've realized that she'd have to have sex with an old man.
** It's all fun and games till you find a turd in the pool.
** An ad for breast augmentation right before a kids' movie at the theater is nothing short of INAPPROPRIATE.
** I'd gain 500 pounds if I lived with my mom who is one kick-ass baker.
** Some people actually eat spleen sandwiches and tuna sperm, the thought of which makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.
** I would punch myself in the face if I had to work at a Build-A-Bear Workshop.
** When all else fails, paying your kids to go the eff to sleep sometimes actually works!
** The blender works much better if you plug it in.
** My kids like each other every once in a blue moon.
** An entire bottle of Advil now resides all over the bottom of my purse.
** All hands and feet must remain inside the vehicle at all times.
** Life is too short to be a sour puss all the time.
** I had a great uncle name Harry Below and a great aunt named Rosie Below. For real, y'all!
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
SO TELL ME SOMETHING YOU LEARNED THIS WEEK!!! >>