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** Sleep is allergic to me.
** Tattle-tells can suck it.
** A dying squirrel is NOT a pretty sight.
** It's all fun and games till you pull a thong outta your purse at the gym.
** Old men in capri pants creep me out.
** My daughter likes to make potholders while she's "putting a deposit in the porcelain bank."
** Sheer & utter madness drops in for a visit at my house at approximately 6:00 p.m. every evening.
** Getting a zit as an adult is like history repeating itself. (Puberty, Round 2 anyone?)
** My son is totally cool with carrying a purple and pink purse.
** Wiping your dog's ass with a leaf only gets you poo on your hands.
** Empty toilet paper rolls are the story of my life.
** I need to find a generous octopus who's willing to lend me some extra arms.
** Food is not something I can produce on the spot, much to the dismay of my children.
** Finding an available babysitter these days is about as likely as winning the damn lottery.
** Goatdog could REALLY use some Ritalin.
** Starbucks is not the place to spill your dirt to complete strangers, especially when that stranger is me.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
SO TELL ME SOMETHING THAT YOU LEARNED THIS WEEK!!!! >>