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You know what I’m talking about. It’s the time in our life when we attempt to move on, without facing the truth. We stay in denial just wondering around unhappy. Admit it. You’ve been there. Let me give you some advice. If you can’t take the very small step, in admitting that you’re still facing a stranger in the mirror every day. Then you will never know who you really are. You will lose yourself completely. I will be the first to admit that I have been there. I didn’t who I was. I didn’t know what I wanted. And for a moment…I had forgotten how to even love my self. I was ashamed of how I felt. It’s like my whole world was crashing down in front of me; all because my heart and my mind refused to work together. There was most definitely a war going on inside of me. I had been drafted. There was no running away from it. I trusted few, to tell my emotional misfortunes to. It was nice to have someone to lean on, when I needed to vent and even though it helped. I still felt like I was hanging on to the edge of a cliff with no one to help me up. So you know what I did? In the desperation of finding a solution to my problems, I closed my eyes and got down on my knees and prayed as hard as I could. I wanted to know what happy felt like again. I wanted to know how I could love my self, so others wouldn’t regret loving me. & I wanted to love others so my family and I could become one again. I wasn’t sure if I even believed that prayer was going to work, but it was my last hope.
Then one day I did what seemed to be the impossible. I got out of bed, and looked out the window, and it was whole new day. The sun was shining and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. It was beautiful outside. What’s so great about that is it was beautiful inside as well. It was beautiful inside of me! Out of nowhere I felt like I wanted to fight to change. Not just fight to live! I felt like I had a chance to be happy again! And it felt awesome! So that’s what I did.
Every day is still a challenge. But now I know I can do it. It’s hard thinking you have to fight the war alone. You don’t. Remember this though. The only way you can win the war is when you’re willing to get past the denial and except the help. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be ashamed because you’re not alone. Everyone has been there at least once in their life and if they haven’t they will. Trust in God to get you through it. Sometimes it seems cliché, and for some odd reason it’s difficult to do. But when you let that guard down and ask him for help. Anything is possible.