When two adults decide to separate, it can be a stressful and emotional time. This is particularly true if you have children as they can find a separation difficult to understand and process, but it does not have to be an experience that damages them. In fact, they may even become a stronger person by the end of it. It will all come down to how you both handle the separation and making sure that you prioritize their needs. You must also still provide a strong and stable support network and make sure that they know that they are still loved by both parents. Here are a few tips:
1. Do Not Badmouth Your Partner Or Fight In Front Of Them
Problems occur for children when they see their parents fighting or if one is badmouthing their partner in front of the kids. This can be highly distressing, and the child will feel conflicted as it will appear like you are trying to get them on your side.
2. Maintain Consistency
If possible, it can also be helpful to maintain a consistent routine as children need this to feel safe and secure. Try to keep their routine and get on the same page with your ex about aspects like going to school, dinner, homework, bedtime, etc.
3. Be Honest
Although you should not fight in front of them, it is still important that you are honest about what is happening. Explain that the separation is not their fault and that both parents love them and will continue to see them no matter what happens.
4. Manage Emotions
Every child will react differently and it will also depend on their age. Some may react badly while others may take a while for any emotion to show. No matter how they react, you should always listen to their concerns, provide support and legitimize their feelings.
5. Find Specialist Solicitors
Specialist child law solicitors can help any issues to be resolved quickly so that you can arrange all aspects of your children’s upbringing and care with as minimal fuss as possible no matter how tricky the circumstances are.
6. Develop A Productive Co-Parenting Relationship
This is not always possible after a separation, but if you are able to it can be immensely helpful to develop a productive co-parenting relationship with your ex after the separation. This will help the child to adjust faster while putting their best interests first so that they can enjoy life, do well in school and develop their own positive relationships.
7. Seek Help
It is in your best interest and the best interest of your children to look after your mental health during this challenging time. Many parents find it helpful to speak to somebody about their difficulties and it could also be helpful for a child to do the same if they are struggling to come to terms with the separation.
Separations are tricky but particularly when there are children involved. Keep the above in mind for a healthy separation which puts the child’s interests first. Hopefully, you can work together with your ex to make this as simple as possible for all so that you can all come out the other side and still provide all the love, support and happiness that a child needs.
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