No one ties the knot, thinking they would get divorced one day. Still, according to many reports, over 30% of marriages end only within five years. There are many reasons why couples do not want to be with each other anymore, and they seek divorce. While getting a divorce might be a new beginning for both the parents, it can possibly hurt the children. They can experience mental, behavioral, and emotional issues, leading to depression and drug abuse. According to the research, 80% of the kids do not go through this, but no one knows if their kids fall in that 20%. Therefore, if you are ending your marriage and have kids, be sure to give this article a read to minimize the harmful impact of divorce on your children.
Find a Way To Tell Your Children About Divorce
First things first, if your decision to file a divorce is final, find a way to explain this to your children. Make sure you are doing this without putting the blame on the other parent. You do not want to make your children hate their other parent. Also, try to speak to your kids together to make sure you are on the same page and delivering the same message to them. You want to tell them that it is okay to get divorced, but you both will love kids and that it is not their fault. I know it will be challenging, but it is better to tell them yourself without having anyone else talk to them.
Avoid Saying too Much
You should never talk about the amount of child support their parents are paying or receiving, what is in the divorce settlement, whether or not you have hired a child support lawyer, and what child support is supposed to pay for. Your kids do not need to know about this at all. Keep such things private and never reveal them to your kids. The one thing your kids want to know is that both their parents will still love them as they used to before.
Never Argue in Front of your Children
When you and your spouse are not on the same page, restraining anger and emotions can be difficult. Insults, disappointments, anger, or betrayals may lead to arguments and fights. All this is normal when a marriage is failing. However, you need to keep in mind how these fights will affect the mental health of your children. When your kids see these quarrels, they will think that their family is turning into a complete catastrophe—as a result, causing fear, anxiety, and depression. Therefore, to avoid this from happening, be sure you are solving your issues away from your children. Moreover, leave an impression as if you both have mutually decided to part your ways peacefully.
Never Introduce Your New Lover
Never, I repeat, never introduce your new partner to your children. They have already been through the trauma of their parent’s divorce, and you do not want to give them another shock. Unless your children are mature and understanding, you do not want to do that. Even if you have someone else that you like, find a suitable situation, and a way to tell your kids.