I Don’t Want to Be a Bitter Mom 1 1

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There is a gash in my soul. A cut so deep within me that it can not be reached, repaired or receive the oxygen it needs to dissipate. It is just there, perpetual and persistent in it’s inability to heal. It was small in childhood, one peppered with memories of love and pain. A dramatic youth full of loss, confusion and instability. Adoption and a stable family for years seemed to stop its growth. But relationships with friends and lovers, a husband and other strangers has gradually widened it, forcing a wall, built brick by brick, to protect it lest it explode, taking me with it. It is an emotional pain that does not go away. One that I would bet most people have buried beneath the memories that threaten their mere existence. I live with it… some days more aware of it than others.

The spiraling world of insanity in which the wound thrives is often hard to see in me. I am a generally happy person with few complaints. My day to day life is actually very blessed and amazing. I have the best children that God has ever put on this Earth. I am so blessed to work from home at a job that truly feels like a vacation every day and I have an amazing network of people who love and care for me. Truly, honestly, I have no reason not to smile. Not to thrive in this fantastic world I have rebuilt for us after a divorce that could have crushed us.

But as anyone who has deep cuts that refuse to heal knows, the impenetrable feeling that the other shoe will drop can overwhelm in the most unlikely form. My gash throws spears of inadequacy and insecurity, piercing any happiness or pride I have with myself with holes of uncertainty. It reminds me of the past, the betrayals, the abuse of my heart that stole my ability to trust and endure. It is the mark of the failures that have plagued me despite my successes. It is not depression… if it were, I would take a magic pill and hope to be cured. It is merely a nagging ache of instability that follows me through life.

I am not sure why I am even writing about it, to be honest. I suppose it is the desire to be a better person, do better, feel better. The aim to be the healthiest I can be from the inside out for my children. I have noticed lately that this gnawing gash is keeping me from taking chances, both emotionally and physically. It is holding me back from believing that I can do things that I want to do. Like get in better shape, find true friendships and maybe even a deeper personal relationship in the years to come. I find myself sitting across from dates thinking they are spewing nothing but lies. That even friends I trust may be out to use me. That family is forcing themselves to be around me for the simple tag of ‘family’.

I don’t want to be this way. I want to be carefree, trusting, loving and whole – or at least back to the fracture that I lived with from childhood instead of the gaping hole that came from the shackles of infidelity, lies and emotional abuse by those who claimed to care. If for nothing else, to be able to raise my children to trust. To believe. To care.

I don’t want to be a bitter mother raising bitter children. I don’t want them to think that I am unhappy. Because I am not. Not even a little bit. I have no regrets. Just a hole.

So maybe this is the first step to admitting that I need to do some research and work on the internal part of me that chains the external adventures. Maybe putting this convoluted post out there will show me that there should be no fear in admitting a weakness… even if no one else understand it.

Or maybe I am not alone and there are successful, responsible, loving mothers and women out there who also live with the gash within their souls that hampers their ability to let go and just be. Who knows… but I have to start somewhere.

And somewhere is here.

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1 Comment

  1. Thanks for sharing! One day at a time. One day at a time. There’s nothing wrong with reflection and doing the work to become an even better person. We owe that to our self… To be the best person possible in life. Be encouraged.

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7 Meaningful Ways to Build Healthy Eating Habits in Kids 0 10

Healthy Eating Habits for Kids
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As Parenting 101 tells you about many things, start them young. Forming and developing healthy eating habits in children is a tall order with no shortcuts or textbook formula. You tread a thin line between being firm and not forcibly feeding them. It is through cooking and selecting the best ingredients that you show your love and affection for your family.

How do you instill healthy eating at an early age?

Give Them Choices

There are many types of healthy food out there: vegetables, fruits, nuts, and other types of produce from nature. These items can be eaten as they are or used to whip up savory meals.

Your goal is to impress on your children that they have options for eating healthy. Their diet does not have to be limited, bland, or boring. If you are not so skilled in the kitchen, it’s time to learn techniques on how to bring about flavor without too much fat, oil, and sugar.

Practice Portion Control

Sometimes, it’s not about the food itself but the size of the serving. Those so-called bite-size snacks, for example, look harmless until they lead to overeating. You can look into this guide when planning meals for the kids and check what constitutes a balanced diet. With proportionate servings, you feel more at ease to give the kids seconds if they ask.

Psychology can also help you in this respect. Use smaller dishes, and encourage sharing desserts.

Choose the Right Type of Carb

Carbohydrates are an essential source of nutrition for kids. These compounds are commonly found in rice, bread, pasta, and potato. The not-so-known sources are beans, legumes, and fruits. Carbs are broken down into sugars like glucose, which, in turn, energize and fuel the body.

As not all carb-rich foods are equal, your task is to find the healthy type for the young ones. The most nutritious sources are often those that undergo minimal to no processing, like whole grains, fruits, beans, and vegetables.

It is best to regulate your child’s intake of sweetened drinks, sodas, and other highly processed foods. Too much sugar consumption can lead to weight gain and other serious diseases. Obesity is a health condition that requires proper medical intervention, if not prevention.

Try Not to Overfeed

Instead of offering your child a plate full of food, give out the meal in the right proportions. This approach can prevent wasting food and hurt feelings if he or she pushes the plate away.

Certain studies note that children’s eating habits (e.g., being selective and not finishing their food) do little to stunt their growth. Forcing your will on the kids, however, can strain your relationship with them and instill in their minds that eating is a chore or an obligation.

To allay your fears about your children not getting the right amount of nutrition, refer to the recommended daily allowance as measured in kilocalories (kcal) by age.

Schedule Snacks

Work out a scheduled hour for small meals here and there. The rule of thumb is not to give out snacks when it’s an hour or closer to lunch or dinnertime.

You can bend the rules sometimes, giving them extra snacks for as long as you have kept track of what they’ve eaten for the day. Sweet potato fries, kale chips, and a piece or two of sliced fruit can pass off as healthy delights.

Eat Together as a Family

Take advantage of dinners to bond with your family over food. As Stanford Children’s Health notes, you can use mealtime as an opportunity for children to pick up and develop sensible eating habits.

Chewing food, for example, teaches them to savor the aroma, texture, and taste of the dish. You also get to talk about what transpired at school or how their day went, providing a stage for encouragement and support.

The habit of mindful eating is a crucial aspect of weight management. In that sense, discourage kids from eating in front of the television or computer screen; it distracts them from the food and causes them to gobble and consume more.

Cook Together

Kids will appreciate what they eat if they know what goes into the food and the effort to make it. You can set aside the weekends to enlist the help of the little ones in handing out the ingredients, stirring the pot, and setting the table. It provides them a sense of importance and independence and promotes consciousness of food consumption.

Baking is extra appealing to children with those tasks like cracking the eggs, using the cookie cutter and decorating the final product. They also get to use tools that are typically kept out of their reach but made safe for them to use.

Desserts can be delicious and healthy when infused with the good stuff. For example, matcha is a powerful ingredient that you can mix into a dessert or drink, enhancing its nutritional content and adding a unique flavor. You can come across plenty of recipes for matcha-infused cookies, cakes, and smoothies online.

Matcha contains catechins and antioxidants that are good for adults and kids. Healthier gums, stronger resistance to flu and other viral diseases, and an overall better immune system are some of the benefits kids can derive from this green tea. The tea itself is safe in prescribed amounts for children.

With these tips, you are moving closer to your goal of raising healthy eaters. What do other parents have to say about their family’s journey to wellness? Let us know in the comments section.

Healthy Eating Habits for Kids


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Signs that Your Body is Full of Toxins & How to Detox Naturally 0 3

signs you need to detox
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It’s easy to forget that we are surrounded by toxins every day. Most things around us are packed with chemicals. This can be true of foods, as well as products. The result can be that our body absorbs some of this – and the evidence may show up on our skin!

Signs that Your Body is Full of Toxins

  • Lack of energy
  • Exhaustion
  • Itchy skin
  • Rosacea
  • Other skin breakout or rash
  • Overheating
  • Sinus issues
  • Headaches
  • Insomnia
  • Gallbladder issues
  • White (or coated) tongue

If you’re experiencing any of the above – it may be time to detox! Detoxing sounds laborious – but it can actually be very simple.

Natural Detox Remedies


One of the first things I do when it seems that my body is suffering from toxins or other issues listed above – is to ensure that I’m getting the probiotics that my gut needs. I prefer this NLA for Her – Her Probiotics, but you should research and decide on one that fits your needs best.

I also like this Zenwise Health Digestive Enzymes Plus Prebiotics & Probiotics.

Epsom Salt

Taking an Epsom salt bath helps to raise the magnesium levels in the body and thus helps to eliminate toxins. Relax in an Epsom salt bath to help relax and soothe aching muscles. Add a cup or two of Epsom salt to a bath and soak.

Green Tea

Green tea is packed with antioxidants. It helps to remove free radicals and prevent liver damage. Try swapping out your coffee for green tea to prompt your body to detox toxins that may be causing any of your above symptoms. I like to try for two or three cups of Green Tea a day during a detox.

green tea detox

Lemon Juice

Lemon juice is my favorite way to detox! It is so simple and I, personally, love the taste of adding a little lemon juice to my water. Lemon juice stimulates the bile production and helps to absorb more nutrients. It alkalizes the body and helps boost your immune system. You can mix this with warm water or cold water. Do this as soon as you wake up each morning. There are also a lot of great pre-made lemon detox drinks if you prefer.


It’s amazing the lack of hydrating water that we get into our diet. Our body is largely made up of water – and every part of our body needs it. Ensure that you are consuming the appropriate amount of water each day for your body size. This will help to naturally flush the body and provide your organs with the hydration they need to function properly.

skin toxin detox natural bloggy moms

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